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by William Shakespeare
Dramatis Personae
RUMOURthe Presenter
KING HENRY THE FOURTH
HENRYPRINCE OF WALESafterwards HENRY
PRINCE JOHN OF LANCASTER
PRINCE HUMPHREY OF GLOUCESTER
THOMASDUKE OF CLARENCE
Sons of Henry IV
EARL OF NORTHUMBERLAND
SCROOPARCHBISHOP OF YORK
LORD MOWBRAY
LORD HASTINGS
LORD BARDOLPH
SIR JOHN COLVILLE
TRAVERS and MORTONretainers of Northumberland
Opposites against King Henry IV
EARL OF WARWICK
EARL OF WESTMORELAND
EARL OF SURREY
EARL OF KENT
GOWER
HARCOURT
BLUNT
Of the King's party
LORD CHIEF JUSTICE
SERVANTto Lord Chief Justice
SIR JOHN FALSTAFF
EDWARD POINS
BARDOLPH
PISTOL
PETO
Irregular humourists
PAGEto Falstaff
ROBERT SHALLOW and SILENCEcountry Justices
DAVYservant to Shallow
FANG and SNARESheriff's officers
RALPH MOULDY
SIMON SHADOW
THOMAS WART
FRANCIS FEEBLE
PETER BULLCALF
Country soldiers
FRANCISa drawer
LADY NORTHUMBERLAND
LADY PERCYPercy's widow
HOSTESS QUICKLYof the Boar's HeadEastcheap
DOLL TEARSHEET
LORDSAttendantsPorterDrawersBeadlesGroomsServants
Speaker of the Epilogue
SCENE: England
INDUCTION
INDUCTION.
Warkworth. Before NORTHUMBERLAND'S Castle
Enter RUMOURpainted full of tongues
RUMOUR. Open your ears; for which of you will stop
The vent of hearing when loud Rumour speaks?
Ifrom the orient to the drooping west
Making the wind my post-horsestill unfold
The acts commenced on this ball of earth.
Upon my tongues continual slanders ride
The which in every language I pronounce
Stuffing the ears of men with false reports.
I speak of peace while covert emnity
Under the smile of safetywounds the world;
And who but Rumourwho but only I
Make fearful musters and prepar'd defence
Whiles the big yearswoln with some other grief
Is thought with child by the stern tyrant war
And no such matter? Rumour is a pipe
Blown by surmisesjealousiesconjectures
And of so easy and so plain a stop
That the blunt monster with uncounted heads
The still-discordant wav'ring multitude
Can play upon it. But what need I thus
My well-known body to anatomize
Among my household? Why is Rumour here?
I run before King Harry's victory
Whoin a bloody field by Shrewsbury
Hath beaten down young Hotspur and his troops
Quenching the flame of bold rebellion
Even with the rebels' blood. But what mean I
To speak so true at first? My office is
To noise abroad that Harry Monmouth fell
Under the wrath of noble Hotspur's sword
And that the King before the Douglas' rage
Stoop'd his anointed head as low as death.
This have I rumour'd through the peasant towns
Between that royal field of Shrewsbury
And this worm-eaten hold of ragged stone
Where Hotspur's fatherold Northumberland
Lies crafty-sick. The posts come tiring on
And not a man of them brings other news
Than they have learnt of me. From Rumour's tongues
They bring smooth comforts falseworse than true wrongs.
Exit
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ACT I. SCENE I.
Warkworth. Before NORTHUMBERLAND'S Castle
Enter LORD BARDOLPH
LORD BARDOLPH. Who keeps the gate hereho?
The PORTER opens the gate
Where is the Earl?
PORTER. What shall I say you are?
LORD BARDOLPH. Tell thou the Earl
That the Lord Bardolph doth attend him here.
PORTER. His lordship is walk'd forth into the orchard.
Please it your honour knock but at the gate
And he himself will answer.
Enter NORTHUMBERLAND
LORD BARDOLPH. Here comes the Earl. Exit PORTER
NORTHUMBERLAND. What newsLord Bardolph? Every minute now
Should be the father of some stratagem.
The times are wild; contentionlike a horse
Full of high feedingmadly hath broke loose
And bears down all before him.
LORD BARDOLPH. Noble Earl
I bring you certain news from Shrewsbury.
NORTHUMBERLAND. Goodan God will!
LORD BARDOLPH. As good as heart can wish.
The King is almost wounded to the death;
Andin the fortune of my lord your son
Prince Harry slain outright; and both the Blunts
Kill'd by the hand of Douglas; young Prince John
And Westmorelandand Staffordfled the field;
And Harry Monmouth's brawnthe hulk Sir John
Is prisoner to your son. Osuch a day
So foughtso followedand so fairly won
Came not till now to dignify the times
Since Cxsar's fortunes!
NORTHUMBERLAND. How is this deriv'd?
Saw you the field? Came you from Shrewsbury?
LORD BARDOLPH. I spake with onemy lordthat came from
thence;
A gentleman well bred and of good name
That freely rend'red me these news for true.
Enter TRAVERS
NORTHUMBERLAND. Here comes my servant Traverswhom I sent
On Tuesday last to listen after news.
LORD BARDOLPH. My lordI over-rode him on the way;
And he is furnish'd with no certainties
More than he haply may retail from me.
NORTHUMBERLAND. NowTraverswhat good tidings comes with you?
TRAVERS. My lordSir John Umfrevile turn'd me back
With joyful tidings; andbeing better hors'd
Out-rode me. After him came spurring hard
A gentlemanalmost forspent with speed
That stopp'd by me to breathe his bloodied horse.
He ask'd the way to Chester; and of him
I did demand what news from Shrewsbury.
He told me that rebellion had bad luck
And that young Harry Percy's spur was cold.
With that he gave his able horse the head
Andbending forwardstruck his armed heels
Against the panting sides of his poor jade
Up to the rowel-head; and starting so
He seem'd in running to devour the way
Staying no longer question.
NORTHUMBERLAND. Ha! Again:
Said he young Harry Percy's spur was cold?
Of HotspurColdspur? that rebellion
Had met ill luck?
LORD BARDOLPH. My lordI'll tell you what:
If my young lord your son have not the day
Upon mine honourfor a silken point
I'll give my barony. Never talk of it.
NORTHUMBERLAND. Why should that gentleman that rode by Travers
Give then such instances of loss?
LORD BARDOLPH. Who--he?
He was some hilding fellow that had stol'n
The horse he rode on andupon my life
Spoke at a venture. Lookhere comes more news.
Enter Morton
NORTHUMBERLAND. Yeathis man's browlike to a title-leaf
Foretells the nature of a tragic volume.
So looks the strand whereon the imperious flood
Hath left a witness'd usurpation.
SayMortondidst thou come from Shrewsbury?
MORTON. I ran from Shrewsburymy noble lord;
Where hateful death put on his ugliest mask
To fright our party.
NORTHUMBERLAND. How doth my son and brother?
Thou tremblest; and the whiteness in thy cheek
Is apter than thy tongue to tell thy errand.
Even such a manso faintso spiritless
So dullso dread in lookso woe-begone
Drew Priam's curtain in the dead of night
And would have told him half his Troy was burnt;
But Priam found the fire ere he his tongue
And I my Percy's death ere thou report'st it.
This thou wouldst say: 'Your son did thus and thus;
Your brother thus; so fought the noble Douglas'-Stopping
my greedy ear with their bold deeds;
But in the endto stop my ear indeed
Thou hast a sigh to blow away this praise
Ending with 'Brothersonand allare dead.'
MORTON. Douglas is livingand your brotheryet;
But for my lord your son-
NORTHUMBERLAND. Whyhe is dead.
See what a ready tongue suspicion hath!
He that but fears the thing he would not know
Hath by instinct knowledge from others' eyes
That what he fear'd is chanced. Yet speakMorton;
Tell thou an earl his divination lies
And I will take it as a sweet disgrace
And make thee rich for doing me such wrong.
MORTON. You are too great to be by me gainsaid;
Your spirit is too trueyour fears too certain.
NORTHUMBERLAND. Yetfor all thissay not that Percy's dead.
I see a strange confession in thine eye;
Thou shak'st thy headand hold'st it fear or sin
To speak a truth. If he be slainsay so:
The tongue offends not that reports his death;
And he doth sin that doth belie the dead
Not he which says the dead is not alive.
Yet the first bringer of unwelcome news
Hath but a losing officeand his tongue
Sounds ever after as a sullen bell
Rememb'red tolling a departing friend.
LORD BARDOLPH. I cannot thinkmy lordyour son is dead.
MORTON. I am sorry I should force you to believe
That which I would to God I had not seen;
But these mine eyes saw him in bloody state
Rend'ring faint quittancewearied and out-breath'd
To Harry Monmouthwhose swift wrath beat down
The never-daunted Percy to the earth
From whence with life he never more sprung up.
In fewhis death--whose spirit lent a fire
Even to the dullest peasant in his camp-Being
bruited oncetook fire and heat away
From the best-temper'd courage in his troops;
For from his metal was his party steeled;
Which once in him abatedall the rest
Turn'd on themselveslike dull and heavy lead.
And as the thing that's heavy in itself
Upon enforcement flies with greatest speed
So did our menheavy in Hotspur's loss
Lend to this weight such lightness with their fear
That arrows fled not swifter toward their aim
Than did our soldiersaiming at their safety
Fly from the field. Then was that noble Worcester
Too soon ta'en prisoner; and that furious Scot
The bloody Douglaswhose well-labouring sword
Had three times slain th' appearance of the King
Gan vail his stomach and did grace the shame
Of those that turn'd their backsand in his flight
Stumbling in fearwas took. The sum of all
Is that the King hath wonand hath sent out
A speedy power to encounter youmy lord
Under the conduct of young Lancaster
And Westmoreland. This is the news at full.
NORTHUMBERLAND. For this I shall have time enough to mourn.
In poison there is physic; and these news
Having been wellthat would have made me sick
Being sickhave in some measure made me well;
And as the wretch whose fever-weak'ned joints
Like strengthless hingesbuckle under life
Impatient of his fitbreaks like a fire
Out of his keeper's armseven so my limbs
Weak'ned with griefbeing now enrag'd with grief
Are thrice themselves. Hencethereforethou nice crutch!
A scaly gauntlet now with joints of steel
Must glove this hand; and hencethou sickly coif!
Thou art a guard too wanton for the head
Which princesflesh'd with conquestaim to hit.
Now bind my brows with iron; and approach
The ragged'st hour that time and spite dare bring
To frown upon th' enrag'd Northumberland!
Let heaven kiss earth! Now let not Nature's hand
Keep the wild flood confin'd! Let order die!
And let this world no longer be a stage
To feed contention in a ling'ring act;
But let one spirit of the first-born Cain
Reign in all bosomsthateach heart being set
On bloody coursesthe rude scene may end
And darkness be the burier of the dead!
LORD BARDOLPH. This strained passion doth you wrongmy lord.
MORTON. Sweet Earldivorce not wisdom from your honour.
The lives of all your loving complices
Lean on your health; the whichif you give o'er
To stormy passionmust perforce decay.
You cast th' event of warmy noble lord
And summ'd the account of chance before you said
'Let us make head.' It was your pre-surmise
That in the dole of blows your son might drop.
You knew he walk'd o'er perils on an edge
More likely to fall in than to get o'er;
You were advis'd his flesh was capable
Of wounds and scarsand that his forward spirit
Would lift him where most trade of danger rang'd;
Yet did you say 'Go forth'; and none of this
Though strongly apprehendedcould restrain
The stiff-borne action. What hath then befall'n
Or what hath this bold enterprise brought forth
More than that being which was like to be?
LORD BARDOLPH. We all that are engaged to this loss
Knew that we ventured on such dangerous seas
That if we wrought out life 'twas ten to one;
And yet we ventur'dfor the gain propos'd
Chok'd the respect of likely peril fear'd;
And since we are o'ersetventure again.
Comewe will put forthbody and goods.
MORTON. 'Tis more than time. Andmy most noble lord
I hear for certainand dare speak the truth:
The gentle Archbishop of York is up
With well-appointed pow'rs. He is a man
Who with a double surety binds his followers.
My lord your son had only but the corpse
But shadows and the shows of mento fight;
For that same word 'rebellion' did divide
The action of their bodies from their souls;
And they did fight with queasinessconstrain'd
As men drink potions; that their weapons only
Seem'd on our sidebut for their spirits and souls
This word 'rebellion'--it had froze them up
As fish are in a pond. But now the Bishop
Turns insurrection to religion.
Suppos'd sincere and holy in his thoughts
He's follow'd both with body and with mind;
And doth enlarge his rising with the blood
Of fair King Richardscrap'd from Pomfret stones;
Derives from heaven his quarrel and his cause;
Tells them he doth bestride a bleeding land
Gasping for life under great Bolingbroke;
And more and less do flock to follow him.
NORTHUMBERLAND. I knew of this before; butto speak truth
This present grief had wip'd it from my mind.
Go in with me; and counsel every man
The aptest way for safety and revenge.
Get posts and lettersand make friends with speed--
Never so fewand never yet more need. Exeunt
SCENE II.
London. A street
Enter SIR JOHN FALSTAFFwith his PAGE bearing his sword and
buckler
FALSTAFF. Sirrahyou giantwhat says the doctor to my water?
PAGE. He saidsirthe water itself was a good healthy water;
but
for the party that owed ithe might have moe diseases than
he
knew for.
FALSTAFF. Men of all sorts take a pride to gird at me. The
brain of
this foolish-compounded claymanis not able to invent
anything
that intends to laughtermore than I invent or is invented
on
me. I am not only witty in myselfbut the cause that wit is
in
other men. I do here walk before thee like a sow that hath
overwhelm'd all her litter but one. If the Prince put thee
into
my service for any other reason than to set me offwhy then
have no judgment. Thou whoreson mandrakethou art fitter to
be
worn in my cap than to wait at my heels. I was never mann'd
with
an agate till now; but I will inset you neither in gold nor
silverbut in vile appareland send you back again to your
masterfor a jewel--the juvenalthe Prince your master
whose
chin is not yet fledge. I will sooner have a beard grow in
the
palm of my hand than he shall get one off his cheek; and yet
he
will not stick to say his face is a face-royal. God may
finish it
when he will'tis not a hair amiss yet. He may keep it still
at
a face-royalfor a barber shall never earn sixpence out of
it;
and yet he'll be crowing as if he had writ man ever since his
father was a bachelor. He may keep his own gracebut he's
almost
out of mineI can assure him. What said Master Dommelton
about
the satin for my short cloak and my slops?
PAGE. He saidsiryou should procure him better assurance
than
Bardolph. He would not take his band and yours; he liked not
the
security.
FALSTAFF. Let him be damn'dlike the Glutton; pray God his
tongue
be hotter! A whoreson Achitophel! A rascal-yea-forsooth
knaveto
bear a gentleman in handand then stand upon security! The
whoreson smooth-pates do now wear nothing but high shoesand
bunches of keys at their girdles; and if a man is through
with
them in honest taking-upthen they must stand upon security.
had as lief they would put ratsbane in my mouth as offer to
stop
it with security. I look'd 'a should have sent me two and
twenty
yards of satinas I am a true knightand he sends me
security.
Wellhe may sleep in security; for he hath the horn of
abundanceand the lightness of his wife shines through it;
and
yet cannot he seethough he have his own lanthorn to light
him.
Where's Bardolph?
PAGE. He's gone into Smithfield to buy your worship horse.
FALSTAFF. I bought him in Paul'sand he'll buy me a horse in
Smithfield. An I could get me but a wife in the stewsI were
mann'dhors'dand wiv'd.
Enter the LORD CHIEF JUSTICE and SERVANT
PAGE. Sirhere comes the nobleman that committed the
Prince for striking him about Bardolph.
FALSTAFF. Wait close; I will not see him.
CHIEF JUSTICE. What's he that goes there?
SERVANT. Falstaffan't please your lordship.
CHIEF JUSTICE. He that was in question for the robb'ry?
SERVANT. Hemy lord; but he hath since done good service at
Shrewsburyandas I hearis now going with some charge to
the
Lord John of Lancaster.
CHIEF JUSTICE. Whatto York? Call him back again.
SERVANT. Sir John Falstaff!
FALSTAFF. Boytell him I am deaf.
PAGE. You must speak louder; my master is deaf.
CHIEF JUSTICE. I am sure he isto the hearing of anything
good.
Gopluck him by the elbow; I must speak with him.
SERVANT. Sir John!
FALSTAFF. What! a young knaveand begging! Is there not wars?
Is
there not employment? Doth not the King lack subjects? Do not
the
rebels need soldiers? Though it be a shame to be on any side
but
oneit is worse shame to beg than to be on the worst side
were
it worse than the name of rebellion can tell how to make it.
SERVANT. You mistake mesir.
FALSTAFF. Whysirdid I say you were an honest man? Setting
my
knighthood and my soldiership asideI had lied in my throat
if I
had said so.
SERVANT. I pray yousirthen set your knighthood and your
soldiership aside; and give me leave to tell you you in your
throatif you say I am any other than an honest man.
FALSTAFF. I give thee leave to tell me so! I lay aside that
which
grows to me! If thou get'st any leave of mehang me; if thou
tak'st leavethou wert better be hang'd. You hunt counter.
Hence! Avaunt!
SERVANT. Sirmy lord would speak with you.
CHIEF JUSTICE. Sir John Falstaffa word with you.
FALSTAFF. My good lord! God give your lordship good time of
day. I
am glad to see your lordship abroad. I heard say your
lordship
was sick; I hope your lordship goes abroad by advice. Your
lordshipthough not clean past your youthhath yet some
smack
of age in yousome relish of the saltness of time; and I
most
humbly beseech your lordship to have a reverend care of your
health.
CHIEF JUSTICE. Sir JohnI sent for you before your expedition
to
Shrewsbury.
FALSTAFF. An't please your lordshipI hear his Majesty is
return'd
with some discomfort from Wales.
CHIEF JUSTICE. I talk not of his Majesty. You would not come
when I
sent for you.
FALSTAFF. And I hearmoreoverhis Highness is fall'n into
this
same whoreson apoplexy.
CHIEF JUSTICE. Well God mend him! I pray you let me speak with
you.
FALSTAFF. This apoplexyas I take itis a kind of lethargy
an't
please your lordshipa kind of sleeping in the blooda
whoreson
tingling.
CHIEF JUSTICE. What tell you me of it? Be it as it is.
FALSTAFF. It hath it original from much grieffrom studyand
perturbation of the brain. I have read the cause of his
effects
in Galen; it is a kind of deafness.
CHIEF JUSTICE. I think you are fall'n into the diseasefor you
hear not what I say to you.
FALSTAFF. Very wellmy lordvery well. Rather an't please
youit
is the disease of not listeningthe malady of not marking
that
I am troubled withal.
CHIEF JUSTICE. To punish you by the heels would amend the
attention
of your ears; and I care not if I do become your physician.
FALSTAFF. I am as poor as Jobmy lordbut not so patient.
Your
lordship may minister the potion of imprisonment to me in
respect
of poverty; but how I should be your patient to follow your
prescriptionsthe wise may make some dram of a scrupleor
indeed a scruple itself.
CHIEF JUSTICE. I sent for youwhen there were matters against
you
for your lifeto come speak with me.
FALSTAFF. As I was then advis'd by my learned counsel in the
laws
of this land-serviceI did not come.
CHIEF JUSTICE. Wellthe truth isSir Johnyou live in great
infamy.
FALSTAFF. He that buckles himself in my belt cannot live in
less.
CHIEF JUSTICE. Your means are very slenderand your waste is
great.
FALSTAFF. I would it were otherwise; I would my means were
greater
and my waist slenderer.
CHIEF JUSTICE. You have misled the youthful Prince.
FALSTAFF. The young Prince hath misled me. I am the fellow with
the
great bellyand he my dog.
CHIEF JUSTICE. WellI am loath to gall a new-heal'd wound.
Your
day's service at Shrewsbury hath a little gilded over your
night's exploit on Gadshill. You may thank th' unquiet time
for
your quiet o'erposting that action.
FALSTAFF. My lord--
CHIEF JUSTICE. But since all is wellkeep it so: wake not a
sleeping wolf.
FALSTAFF. To wake a wolf is as bad as smell a fox.
CHIEF JUSTICE. What! you are as a candlethe better part burnt
out.
FALSTAFF. A wassail candlemy lord--all tallow; if I did say
of
waxmy growth would approve the truth.
CHIEF JUSTICE. There is not a white hair in your face but
should
have his effect of gravity.
FALSTAFF. His effect of gravygravy
CHIEF JUSTICE. You follow the young Prince up and downlike
his
ill angel.
FALSTAFF. Not somy lord. Your ill angel is light; but hope
he
that looks upon me will take me without weighing. And yet in
some
respectsI grantI cannot go--I cannot tell. Virtue is of
so
little regard in these costermongers' times that true valour
is
turn'd berod; pregnancy is made a tapsterand his quick wit
wasted in giving reckonings; all the other gifts appertinent
to
manas the malice of this age shapes themare not worth a
gooseberry. You that are old consider not the capacities of
us
that are young; you do measure the heat of our livers with
the
bitterness of your galls; and we that are in the vaward of
our
youthmust confessare wags too.
CHIEF JUSTICE. Do you set down your name in the scroll of
youth
that are written down old with all the characters of age?
Have
you not a moist eyea dry handa yellow cheeka white
bearda
decreasing legan increasing belly? Is not your voice
broken
your wind shortyour chin doubleyour wit singleand every
part about you blasted with antiquity? And will you yet call
yourself young? FiefiefieSir John!
FALSTAFF. My lordI was born about three of the clock in the
afternoonwith a white head and something a round belly. For
my
voice--I have lost it with hallooing and singing of anthems.
To
approve my youth furtherI will not. The truth isI am only
old
in judgment and understanding; and he that will caper with me
for
a thousand markslet him lend me the moneyand have at him.
For
the box of the ear that the Prince gave you--he gave it like
a
rude princeand you took it like a sensible lord. I have
check'd
him for it; and the young lion repents--marrynot in ashes
and
sackclothbut in new silk and old sack.
CHIEF JUSTICE. WellGod send the Prince a better companion!
FALSTAFF. God send the companion a better prince! I cannot rid
my
hands of him.
CHIEF JUSTICE. Wellthe King hath sever'd you. I hear you are
going with Lord John of Lancaster against the Archbishop and
the
Earl of Northumberland.
FALSTAFF. Yea; I thank your pretty sweet wit for it. But look
you
prayall you that kiss my Lady Peace at homethat our
armies
join not in a hot day; forby the LordI take but two
shirts
out with meand I mean not to sweat extraordinarily. If it
be a
hot dayand I brandish anything but a bottleI would I
might
never spit white again. There is not a dangerous action can
peep
out his head but I am thrust upon it. WellI cannot last
ever;
but it was alway yet the trick of our English nationif they
have a good thingto make it too common. If ye will needs
say I
am an old manyou should give me rest. I would to God my
name
were not so terrible to the enemy as it is. I were better to
be
eaten to death with a rust than to be scoured to nothing with
perpetual motion.
CHIEF JUSTICE. Wellbe honestbe honest; and God bless your
expedition!
FALSTAFF. Will your lordship lend me a thousand pound to
furnish me
forth?
CHIEF JUSTICE. Not a pennynot a penny; you are too impatient
to
bear crosses. Fare you well. Commend me to my cousin
Westmoreland.
Exeunt CHIEF JUSTICE and SERVANT
FALSTAFF. If I dofillip me with a three-man beetle. A man can
no
more separate age and covetousness than 'a can part young
limbs
and lechery; but the gout galls the oneand the pox pinches
the
other; and so both the degrees prevent my curses. Boy!
PAGE. Sir?
FALSTAFF. What money is in my purse?
PAGE. Seven groats and two pence.
FALSTAFF. I can get no remedy against this consumption of the
purse; borrowing only lingers and lingers it outbut the
disease
is incurable. Go bear this letter to my Lord of Lancaster;
this
to the Prince; this to the Earl of Westmoreland; and this to
old
Mistress Ursulawhom I have weekly sworn to marry since I
perceiv'd the first white hair of my chin. About it; you know
where to find me. [Exit PAGE] A pox of this gout! ora
gout of
this pox! for the one or the other plays the rogue with my
great
toe. 'Tis no matter if I do halt; I have the wars for my
colour
and my pension shall seem the more reasonable. A good wit
will
make use of anything. I will turn diseases to commodity.
Exit
SCENE III.
York. The ARCHBISHOP'S palace
Enter the ARCHBISHOPTHOMAS MOWBRAY the EARL MARSHALLORD
HASTINGS
and LORD BARDOLPH
ARCHBISHOP. Thus have you heard our cause and known our means;
Andmy most noble friendsI pray you all
Speak plainly your opinions of our hopesAnd
firstLord Marshalwhat say you to it?
MOWBRAY. I well allow the occasion of our amis;
But gladly would be better satisfied
Howin our meanswe should advance ourselves
To look with forehead bold and big enough
Upon the power and puissance of the King.
HASTINGS. Our present musters grow upon the file
To five and twenty thousand men of choice;
And our supplies live largely in the hope
Of great Northumberlandwhose bosom burns
With an incensed fire of injuries.
LORD BARDOLPH. The question thenLord Hastingsstandeth thus:
Whether our present five and twenty thousand
May hold up head without Northumberland?
HASTINGS. With himwe may.
LORD BARDOLPH. Yeamarrythere's the point;
But if without him we be thought too feeble
My judgment is we should not step too far
Till we had his assistance by the hand;
Forin a theme so bloody-fac'd as this
Conjectureexpectationand surmise
Of aids incertainshould not be admitted.
ARCHBISHOP. 'Tis very trueLord Bardolph; for indeed
It was young Hotspur's case at Shrewsbury.
LORD BARDOLPH. It wasmy lord; who lin'd himself with hope
Eating the air and promise of supply
Flatt'ring himself in project of a power
Much smaller than the smallest of his thoughts;
And sowith great imagination
Proper to madmenled his powers to death
Andwinkingleapt into destruction.
HASTINGS. Butby your leaveit never yet did hurt
To lay down likelihoods and forms of hope.
LORD BARDOLPH. Yesif this present quality of warIndeed
the instant actiona cause on footLives
so in hopeas in an early spring
We see th' appearing buds; which to prove fruit
Hope gives not so much warrantas despair
That frosts will bite them. When we mean to build
We first survey the plotthen draw the model;
And when we see the figure of the house
Then we must rate the cost of the erection;
Which if we find outweighs ability
What do we then but draw anew the model
In fewer officesor at least desist
To build at all? Much morein this great work-Which
is almost to pluck a kingdom down
And set another up--should we survey
The plot of situation and the model
Consent upon a sure foundation
Question surveyorsknow our own estate
How able such a work to undergoTo
weigh against his opposite; or else
We fortify in paper and in figures
Using the names of men instead of men;
Like one that draws the model of a house
Beyond his power to build it; whohalf through
Gives o'er and leaves his part-created cost
A naked subject to the weeping clouds
And waste for churlish winter's tyranny.
HASTINGS. Grant that our hopes--yet likely of fair birth-Should
be still-bornand that we now possess'd
The utmost man of expectation
I think we are so a body strong enough
Even as we areto equal with the King.
LORD BARDOLPH. Whatis the King but five and twenty thousand?
HASTINGS. To us no more; naynot so muchLord Bardolph;
For his divisionsas the times do brawl
Are in three heads: one power against the French
And one against Glendower; perforce a third
Must take up us. So is the unfirm King
In three divided; and his coffers sound
With hollow poverty and emptiness.
ARCHBISHOP. That he should draw his several strengths together
And come against us in full puissance
Need not be dreaded.
HASTINGS. If he should do so
He leaves his back unarm'dthe French and Welsh
Baying at his heels. Never fear that.
LORD BARDOLPH. Who is it like should lead his forces hither?
HASTINGS. The Duke of Lancaster and Westmoreland;
Against the Welshhimself and Harry Monmouth;
But who is substituted against the French
I have no certain notice.
ARCHBISHOP. Let us on
And publish the occasion of our arms.
The commonwealth is sick of their own choice;
Their over-greedy love hath surfeited.
An habitation giddy and unsure
Hath he that buildeth on the vulgar heart.
O thou fond manywith what loud applause
Didst thou beat heaven with blessing Bolingbroke
Before he was what thou wouldst have him be!
And being now trimm'd in thine own desires
Thoubeastly feederart so full of him
That thou provok'st thyself to cast him up.
Sosothou common dogdidst thou disgorge
Thy glutton bosom of the royal Richard;
And now thou wouldst eat thy dead vomit up
And howl'st to find it. What trust is in these times?
They thatwhen Richard liv'dwould have him die
Are now become enamour'd on his grave.
Thou that threw'st dust upon his goodly head
When through proud London he came sighing on
After th' admired heels of Bolingbroke
Criest now 'O earthyield us that king again
And take thou this!' O thoughts of men accurs'd!
Past and to come seems best; things presentworst.
MOWBRAY. Shall we go draw our numbersand set on?
HASTINGS. We are time's subjectsand time bids be gone.
Exeunt
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ACT II. SCENE I.
London. A street
Enter HOSTESS with two officersFANG and SNARE
HOSTESS. Master Fanghave you ent'red the action?
FANG. It is ent'red.
HOSTESS. Where's your yeoman? Is't a lusty yeoman? Will 'a
stand
to't?
FANG. Sirrahwhere's Snare?
HOSTESS. O Lorday! good Master Snare.
SNARE. Herehere.
FANG. Snarewe must arrest Sir John Falstaff.
HOSTESS. Yeagood Master Snare; I have ent'red him and all.
SNARE. It may chance cost some of our livesfor he will stab.
HOSTESS. Alas the day! take heed of him; he stabb'd me in mine
own
houseand that most beastly. In good faith'a cares not
what
mischief he doesif his weapon be out; he will foin like any
devil; he will spare neither manwomannor child.
FANG. If I can close with himI care not for his thrust.
HOSTESS. Nonor I neither; I'll be at your elbow.
FANG. An I but fist him once; an 'a come but within my vice!
HOSTESS. I am undone by his going; I warrant youhe's an
infinitive thing upon my score. Good Master Fanghold him
sure.
Good Master Snarelet him not scape. 'A comes continuantly
to
Pie-corner--saving your manhoods--to buy a saddle; and he is
indited to dinner to the Lubber's Head in Lumbert Streetto
Master Smooth's the silkman. I pray yousince my exion is
ent'redand my case so openly known to the worldlet him be
brought in to his answer. A hundred mark is a long one for a
poor
lone woman to bear; and I have borneand borneand borne;
and
have been fubb'd offand fubb'd offand fubb'd offfrom
this
day to that daythat it is a shame to be thought on. There
is no
honesty in such dealing; unless a woman should be made an ass
and
a beastto bear every knave's wrong.
Enter SIR JOHN FALSTAFFPAGEand BARDOLPH
Yonder he comes; and that arrant malmsey-nose knave
Bardolph
with him. Do your officesdo your officesMaster Fang and
Master Snare; do medo medo me your offices.
FALSTAFF. How now! whose mare's dead? What's the matter?
FANG. Sir JohnI arrest you at the suit of Mistress Quickly.
FALSTAFF. Awayvarlets! DrawBardolph. Cut me off the
villian's
head. Throw the quean in the channel.
HOSTESS. Throw me in the channel! I'll throw thee in the
channel.
Wilt thou? wilt thou? thou bastardly rogue! Murdermurder!
Ah
thou honeysuckle villain! wilt thou kill God's officers and
the
King's? Ahthou honey-seed rogue! thou art a honey-seed; a
man-queller and a woman-queller.
FALSTAFF. Keep them offBardolph.
FANG. A rescue! a rescue!
HOSTESS. Good peoplebring a rescue or two. Thou wotwot
thou!
thou wotwot ta? Dodothou rogue! dothou hemp-seed!
PAGE. Awayyou scullion! you rampallian! you fustilarian!
I'll tickle your catastrophe.
Enter the LORD CHIEF JUSTICE and his men
CHIEF JUSTICE. What is the matter? Keep the peace hereho!
HOSTESS. Good my lordbe good to me. I beseech youstand to
me.
CHIEF JUSTICE. How nowSir John! whatare you brawling here?
Doth this become your placeyour timeand business?
You should have been well on your way to York.
Stand from himfellow; wherefore hang'st thou upon him?
HOSTESS. O My most worshipful lordan't please your GraceI
am a
poor widow of Eastcheapand he is arrested at my suit.
CHIEF JUSTICE. For what sum?
HOSTESS. It is more than for somemy lord; it is for all--all
have. He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all
my
substance into that fat belly of his. But I will have some of
it
out againor I will ride thee a nights like a mare.
FALSTAFF. I think I am as like to ride the mareif I have any
vantage of ground to get up.
CHIEF JUSTICE. How comes thisSir John? Fie! What man of good
temper would endure this tempest of exclamation? Are you not
ashamed to enforce a poor widow to so rough a course to come
by
her own?
FALSTAFF. What is the gross sum that I owe thee?
HOSTESS. Marryif thou wert an honest manthyself and the
money
too. Thou didst swear to me upon a parcel-gilt goblet
sitting in
my Dolphin chamberat the round tableby a sea-coal fire
upon
Wednesday in Wheeson weekwhen the Prince broke thy head for
liking his father to singing-man of Windsor--thou didst swear
to
me thenas I was washing thy woundto marry me and make me
my
lady thy wife. Canst thou deny it? Did not goodwife Keech
the
butcher's wifecome in then and call me gossip Quickly?
Coming
in to borrow a mess of vinegartelling us she had a good
dish of
prawnswhereby thou didst desire to eat somewhereby I told
thee they were ill for green wound? And didst thou notwhen
she
was gone down stairsdesire me to be no more so familiarity
with
such poor peoplesaying that ere long they should call me
madam?
And didst thou not kiss meand bid me fetch the thirty
shillings? I put thee now to thy book-oath. Deny itif thou
canst.
FALSTAFF. My lordthis is a poor mad souland she says up and
down the town that her eldest son is like you. She hath been
in
good caseandthe truth ispoverty hath distracted her.
But
for these foolish officersI beseech you I may have redress
against them.
CHIEF JUSTICE. Sir JohnSir JohnI am well acquainted with
your
manner of wrenching the true cause the false way. It is not a
confident brownor the throng of words that come with such
more
than impudent sauciness from youcan thrust me from a level
consideration. You haveas it appears to mepractis'd upon
the
easy yielding spirit of this womanand made her serve your
uses
both in purse and in person.
HOSTESS. Yeain truthmy lord.
CHIEF JUSTICE. Pray theepeace. Pay her the debt you owe her
and
unpay the villainy you have done with her; the one you may do
with sterling moneyand the other with current repentance.
FALSTAFF. My lordI will not undergo this sneap without reply.
You
call honourable boldness impudent sauciness; if a man will
make
curtsy and say nothinghe is virtuous. Nomy lordmy
humble
duty rememb'redI will not be your suitor. I say to you I do
desire deliverance from these officersbeing upon hasty
employment in the King's affairs.
CHIEF JUSTICE. You speak as having power to do wrong; but
answer in
th' effect of your reputationand satisfy the poor woman.
FALSTAFF. Come hitherhostess.
Enter GOWER
CHIEF JUSTICE. NowMaster Gowerwhat news?
GOWER. The Kingmy lordand Harry Prince of Wales
Are near at hand. The rest the paper tells. [Gives a letter]
FALSTAFF. As I am a gentleman!
HOSTESS. Faithyou said so before.
FALSTAFF. As I am a gentleman! Comeno more words of it.
HOSTESS. By this heavenly ground I tread onI must be fain to
pawn
both my plate and the tapestry of my dining-chambers.
FALSTAFF. Glassesglassesis the only drinking; and for thy
wallsa pretty slight drolleryor the story of the
Prodigalor
the German huntingin water-workis worth a thousand of
these
bed-hangers and these fly-bitten tapestries. Let it be ten
pound
if thou canst. Comeand 'twere not for thy humoursthere's
not
a better wench in England. Gowash thy faceand draw the
action. Comethou must not be in this humour with me; dost
not
know me? ComecomeI know thou wast set on to this.
HOSTESS. Pray theeSir Johnlet it be but twenty nobles;
i' faithI am loath to pawn my plateso God save mela!
FALSTAFF. Let it alone; I'll make other shift. You'll be a fool
still.
HOSTESS. Wellyou shall have itthough I pawn my gown.
I hope you'll come to supper. you'll pay me all together?
FALSTAFF. Will I live? [To BARDOLPH] Gowith herwith her;
hook
onhook on.
HOSTESS. Will you have Doll Tearsheet meet you at supper?
FALSTAFF. No more words; let's have her.
Exeunt HOSTESSBARDOLPHand OFFICERS
CHIEF JUSTICE. I have heard better news.
FALSTAFF. What's the newsmy lord?
CHIEF JUSTICE. Where lay the King to-night?
GOWER. At Basingstokemy lord.
FALSTAFF. I hopemy lordall's well. What is the newsmy
lord?
CHIEF JUSTICE. Come all his forces back?
GOWER. No; fifteen hundred footfive hundred horse
Are march'd up to my Lord of Lancaster
Against Northumberland and the Archbishop.
FALSTAFF. Comes the King back from Walesmy noble lord?
CHIEF JUSTICE. You shall have letters of me presently.
Comego along with megood Master Gower.
FALSTAFF. My lord!
CHIEF JUSTICE. What's the matter?
FALSTAFF. Master Gowershall I entreat you with me to dinner?
GOWER. I must wait upon my good lord hereI thank yougood
Sir
John.
CHIEF JUSTICE. Sir Johnyou loiter here too longbeing you
are to
take soldiers up in counties as you go.
FALSTAFF. Will you sup with meMaster Gower?
CHIEF JUSTICE. What foolish master taught you these manners
Sir
John?
FALSTAFF. Master Gowerif they become me nothe was a fool
that
taught them me. This is the right fencing gracemy lord; tap
for
tapand so part fair.
CHIEF JUSTICE. Nowthe Lord lighten thee! Thou art a great
fool.
Exeunt
SCENE II.
London. Another street
Enter PRINCE HENRY and POINS
PRINCE. Before GodI am exceeding weary.
POINS. Is't come to that? I had thought weariness durst not
have
attach'd one of so high blood.
PRINCE. Faithit does me; though it discolours the complexion
of
my greatness to acknowledge it. Doth it not show vilely in me
to
desire small beer?
POINS. Whya prince should not be so loosely studied as to
remember so weak a composition.
PRINCE. Belike then my appetite was not-princely got; forby
my
trothI do now remember the poor creaturesmall beer. But
indeed these humble considerations make me out of love with
my
greatness. What a disgrace is it to me to remember thy name
or
to know thy face to-morrowor to take note how many pair of
silk
stockings thou hast--viz.theseand those that were thy
peach-colour'd ones--or to bear the inventory of thy shirtsas
one for superfluityand another for use! But that the
tennis-court-keeper knows better than I; for it is a low ebb
of
linen with thee when thou keepest not racket there; as thou
hast
not done a great whilebecause the rest of thy low countries
have made a shift to eat up thy holland. And God knows
whether
those that bawl out of the ruins of thy linen shall inherit
his
kingdom; but the midwives say the children are not in the
fault;
whereupon the world increasesand kindreds are mightily
strengthened.
POINS. How ill it followsafter you have laboured so hardyou
should talk so idly! Tell mehow many good young princes
would
do sotheir fathers being so sick as yours at this time is?
PRINCE. Shall I tell thee one thingPoins?
POINS. Yesfaith; and let it be an excellent good thing.
PRINCE. It shall serve among wits of no higher breeding than
thine.
POINS. Go to; I stand the push of your one thing that you will
tell.
PRINCE. MarryI tell thee it is not meet that I should be sad
now
my father is sick; albeit I could tell to thee--as to one it
pleases mefor fault of a betterto call my friend--I could
be
sad and sad indeed too.
POINS. Very hardly upon such a subject.
PRINCE. By this handthou thinkest me as far in the devil's
book
as thou and Falstaff for obduracy and persistency: let the
end
try the man. But I tell thee my heart bleeds inwardly that my
father is so sick; and keeping such vile company as thou art
hath
in reason taken from me all ostentation of sorrow.
POINS. The reason?
PRINCE. What wouldst thou think of me if I should weep?
POINS. I would think thee a most princely hypocrite.
PRINCE. It would be every man's thought; and thou art a blessed
fellow to think as every man thinks. Never a man's thought in
the
world keeps the road-way better than thine. Every man would
think
me an hypocrite indeed. And what accites your most worshipful
thought to think so?
POINS. Whybecause you have been so lewd and so much engraffed
to
Falstaff.
PRINCE. And to thee.
POINS. By this lightI am well spoke on; I can hear it with
mine
own ears. The worst that they can say of me is that I am a
second
brother and that I am a proper fellow of my hands; and those
two
thingsI confessI cannot help. By the masshere comes
Bardolph.
Enter BARDOLPH and PAGE
PRINCE. And the boy that I gave Falstaff. 'A had him from me
Christian; and look if the fat villain have not transform'd
him
ape.
BARDOLPH. God save your Grace!
PRINCE. And yoursmost noble Bardolph!
POINS. Comeyou virtuous assyou bashful foolmust you be
blushing? Wherefore blush you now? What a maidenly
man-at-arms
are you become! Is't such a matter to get a pottle-pot's
maidenhead?
PAGE. 'A calls me e'en nowmy lordthrough a red latticeand
could discern no part of his face from the window. At last I
spied his eyes; and methought he had made two holes in the
alewife's new petticoatand so peep'd through.
PRINCE. Has not the boy profited?
BARDOLPH. Awayyou whoreson upright rabbitaway!
PAGE. Awayyou rascally Althaea's dreamaway!
PRINCE. Instruct usboy; what dreamboy?
PAGE. Marrymy lordAlthaea dreamt she was delivered of a
firebrand; and therefore I call him her dream.
PRINCE. A crown's worth of good interpretation. There 'tis
boy.
[Giving a crown]
POINS. O that this blossom could be kept from cankers!
Wellthere is sixpence to preserve thee.
BARDOLPH. An you do not make him be hang'd among youthe
gallows
shall have wrong.
PRINCE. And how doth thy masterBardolph?
BARDOLPH. Wellmy lord. He heard of your Grace's coming to
town.
There's a letter for you.
POINS. Deliver'd with good respect. And how doth the martlemas
your master?
BARDOLPH. In bodily healthsir.
POINS. Marrythe immortal part needs a physician; but that
moves
not him. Though that be sickit dies not.
PRINCE. I do allow this well to be as familiar with me as my
dog;
and he holds his placefor look you how he writes.
POINS. [Reads] 'John Falstaffknight'--Every man must know
that
as oft as he has occasion to name himselfeven like those
that
are kin to the King; for they never prick their finger but
they
say 'There's some of the King's blood spilt.' 'How comes
that?'
says he that takes upon him not to conceive. The answer is as
ready as a borrower's cap: 'I am the King's poor cousin
sir.'
PRINCE. Naythey will be kin to usor they will fetch it from
Japhet. But the letter: [Reads] 'Sir John Falstaffknight
to
the son of the King nearest his fatherHarry Prince of
Wales
greeting.'
POINS. Whythis is a certificate.
PRINCE. Peace! [Reads] 'I will imitate the honourable Romans
in
brevity.'
POINS. He sure means brevity in breathshort-winded.
PRINCE. [Reads] 'I commend me to theeI commend theeand I
leave thee. Be not too familiar with Poins; for he misuses
thy
favours so much that he swears thou art to marry his sister
Nell.
Repent at idle times as thou maystand so farewell.
Thineby yea and no--which is as much as to say as
thou usest him--JACK FALSTAFF with my familiars
JOHN with my brothers and sistersand SIR JOHN with
all Europe.'
POINS. My lordI'll steep this letter in sack and make him eat
it.
PRINCE. That's to make him eat twenty of his words. But do you
use
me thusNed? Must I marry your sister?
POINS. God send the wench no worse fortune! But I never said
so.
PRINCE. Wellthus we play the fools with the timeand the
spirits
of the wise sit in the clouds and mock us. Is your master
here in
London?
BARDOLPH. Yeamy lord.
PRINCE. Where sups he? Doth the old boar feed in the old frank?
BARDOLPH. At the old placemy lordin Eastcheap.
PRINCE. What company?
PAGE. Ephesiansmy lordof the old church.
PRINCE. Sup any women with him?
PAGE. Nonemy lordbut old Mistress Quickly and Mistress Doll
Tearsheet.
PRINCE. What pagan may that be?
PAGE. A proper gentlewomansirand a kinswoman of my
master's.
PRINCE. Even such kin as the parish heifers are to the town
bull.
Shall we steal upon themNedat supper?
POINS. I am your shadowmy lord; I'll follow you.
PRINCE. Sirrahyou boyand Bardolphno word to your master
that
I am yet come to town. There's for your silence.
BARDOLPH. I have no tonguesir.
PAGE. And for minesirI will govern it.
PRINCE. Fare you well; go. Exeunt BARDOLPH and PAGE
This Doll Tearsheet should be some road.
POINS. I warrant youas common as the way between Saint Albans
and
London.
PRINCE. How might we see Falstaff bestow himself to-night in
his
true coloursand not ourselves be seen?
POINS. Put on two leathern jerkins and apronsand wait upon
him at
his table as drawers.
PRINCE. From a god to a bull? A heavy descension! It was Jove's
case. From a prince to a prentice? A low transformation! That
shall be mine; for in everything the purpose must weigh with
the
folly. Follow meNed.
Exeunt
SCENE III.
Warkworth. Before the castle
Enter NORTHUMBERLANDLADY NORTHUMBERLANDand LADY PERCY
NORTHUMBERLAND. I pray theeloving wifeand gentle daughter
Give even way unto my rough affairs;
Put not you on the visage of the times
And belike themto Percy troublesome.
LADY NORTHUMBERLAND. I have given overI will speak no more.
Do what you will; your wisdom be your guide.
NORTHUMBERLAND. Alassweet wifemy honour is at pawn;
And but my going nothing can redeem it.
LADY PERCY. Oyetfor God's sakego not to these wars!
The time wasfatherthat you broke your word
When you were more endear'd to it than now;
When your own Percywhen my heart's dear Harry
Threw many a northward look to see his father
Bring up his powers; but he did long in vain.
Who then persuaded you to stay at home?
There were two honours lostyours and your son's.
For yoursthe God of heaven brighten it!
For hisit stuck upon him as the sun
In the grey vault of heaven; and by his light
Did all the chivalry of England move
To do brave acts. He was indeed the glass
Wherein the noble youth did dress themselves.
He had no legs that practis'd not his gait;
And speaking thickwhich nature made his blemish
Became the accents of the valiant;
For those who could speak low and tardily
Would turn their own perfection to abuse
To seem like him: so that in speechin gait
In dietin affections of delight
In military ruleshumours of blood
He was the mark and glasscopy and book
That fashion'd others. And him--O wondrous him!
O miracle of men!--him did you leave--
Second to noneunseconded by you--
To look upon the hideous god of war
In disadvantageto abide a field
Where nothing but the sound of Hotspur's name
Did seem defensible. So you left him.
NeverO neverdo his ghost the wrong
To hold your honour more precise and nice
With others than with him! Let them alone.
The Marshal and the Archbishop are strong.
Had my sweet Harry had but half their numbers
To-day might Ihanging on Hotspur's neck
Have talk'd of Monmouth's grave.
NORTHUMBERLAND. Beshrew your heart
Fair daughteryou do draw my spirits from me
With new lamenting ancient oversights.
But I must go and meet with danger there
Or it will seek me in another place
And find me worse provided.
LADY NORTHUMBERLAND. Ofly to Scotland
Till that the nobles and the armed commons
Have of their puissance made a little taste.
LADY PERCY. If they get ground and vantage of the King
Then join you with themlike a rib of steel
To make strength stronger; butfor all our loves
First let them try themselves. So did your son;
He was so suff'red; so came I a widow;
And never shall have length of life enough
To rain upon remembrance with mine eyes
That it may grow and sprout as high as heaven
For recordation to my noble husband.
NORTHUMBERLAND. Comecomego in with me. 'Tis with my mind
As with the tide swell'd up unto his height
That makes a still-standrunning neither way.
Fain would I go to meet the Archbishop
But many thousand reasons hold me back.
I will resolve for Scotland. There am I
Till time and vantage crave my company. Exeunt
SCENE IV.
London. The Boar's Head Tavern in Eastcheap
Enter FRANCIS and another DRAWER
FRANCIS. What the devil hast thou brought there-apple-johns?
Thou
knowest Sir John cannot endure an apple-john.
SECOND DRAWER. Massthou say'st true. The Prince once set a
dish
of apple-johns before himand told him there were five more
Sir
Johns; andputting off his hatsaid 'I will now take my
leave
of these six dryroundoldwithered knights.' It ang'red
him
to the heart; but he hath forgot that.
FRANCIS. Whythencover and set them down; and see if thou
canst
find out Sneak's noise; Mistress Tearsheet would fain hear
some
music.
Enter third DRAWER
THIRD DRAWER. Dispatch! The room where they supp'd is too hot;
they'll come in straight.
FRANCIS. Sirrahhere will be the Prince and Master Poins anon;
and
they will put on two of our jerkins and aprons; and Sir John
must
not know of it. Bardolph hath brought word.
THIRD DRAWER. By the masshere will be old uds; it will be an
excellent stratagem.
SECOND DRAWER. I'll see if I can find out Sneak.
Exeunt second and third DRAWERS
Enter HOSTESS and DOLL TEARSHEET
HOSTESS. I' faithsweetheartmethinks now you are in an
excellent
good temperality. Your pulsidge beats as extraordinarily as
heart
would desire; and your colourI warrant youis as red as
any
rosein good truthla! Buti' faithyou have drunk too
much
canaries; and that's a marvellous searching wineand it
perfumes
the blood ere one can say 'What's this?' How do you now?
DOLL. Better than I was--hem.
HOSTESS. Whythat's well said; a good heart's worth gold.
Lohere comes Sir John.
Enter FALSTAFF
FALSTAFF. [Singing] 'When Arthur first in court'--Empty the
Jordan. [Exit FRANCIS]--[Singing] 'And was a worthy king'--
How
nowMistress Doll!
HOSTESS. Sick of a calm; yeagood faith.
FALSTAFF. So is all her sect; and they be once in a calmthey
are
sick.
DOLL. A pox damn youyou muddy rascal! Is that all the comfort
you
give me?
FALSTAFF. You make fat rascalsMistress Doll.
DOLL. I make them! Gluttony and diseases make them: I make them
not.
FALSTAFF. If the cook help to make the gluttonyyou help to
make
the diseasesDoll. We catch of youDollwe catch of you;
grant
thatmy poor virtuegrant that.
DOLL. Yeajoyour chains and our jewels.
FALSTAFF. 'Your broochespearlsand ouches.' For to serve
bravely
is to come halting off; you knowto come off the breach with
his
pike bent bravelyand to surgery bravely; to venture upon
the
charg'd chambers bravely-
DOLL. Hang yourselfyou muddy congerhang yourself!
HOSTESS. By my troththis is the old fashion; you two never
meet
but you fall to some discord. You are bothi' good truthas
rheumatic as two dry toasts; you cannot one bear with
another's
confirmities. What the good-year! one must bearand that
must be
you. You are the weaker vesselas as they saythe emptier
vessel.
DOLL. Can a weak empty vessel bear such a huge full hogs-head?
There's a whole merchant's venture of Bourdeaux stuff in him;
you
have not seen a hulk better stuff'd in the hold. ComeI'll
be
friends with theeJack. Thou art going to the wars; and
whether
I shall ever see thee again or nothere is nobody cares.
Re-enter FRANCIS
FRANCIS. SirAncient Pistol's below and would speak with you.
DOLL. Hang himswaggering rascal! Let him not come hither; it
is
the foul-mouth'dst rogue in England.
HOSTESS. If he swaggerlet him not come here. Noby my faith!
I
must live among my neighbours; I'll no swaggerers. I am in
good
name and fame with the very best. Shut the door. There comes
no
swaggerers here; I have not liv'd all this while to have
swaggering now. Shut the doorI pray you.
FALSTAFF. Dost thou hearhostess?
HOSTESS. Pray yepacify yourselfSir John; there comes no
swaggerers here.
FALSTAFF. Dost thou hear? It is mine ancient.
HOSTESS. Tilly-fallySir Johnne'er tell me; and your ancient
swagg'rer comes not in my doors. I was before Master Tisick
the
debutyt' other day; andas he said to me--'twas no longer
ago
than Wednesday lasti' good faith!--'Neighbour Quickly'
says
he--Master Dumbeour ministerwas by then--'Neighbour
Quickly'
says he 'receive those that are civilfor' said he 'you are
in
an ill name.' Now 'a said soI can tell whereupon. 'For'
says he
'you are an honest woman and well thought ontherefore take
heed
what guests you receive. Receive' says he 'no swaggering
companions.' There comes none here. You would bless you to
hear
what he said. NoI'll no swagg'rers.
FALSTAFF. He's no swagg'rerhostess; a tame cheateri' faith;
you
may stroke him as gently as a puppy greyhound. He'll not
swagger
with a Barbary henif her feathers turn back in any show of
resistance. Call him updrawer.
Exit FRANCIS
HOSTESS. Cheatercall you him? I will bar no honest man my
house
nor no cheater; but I do not love swaggeringby my troth. I
am
the worse when one says 'swagger.' Feelmastershow I
shake;
look youI warrant you.
DOLL. So you dohostess.
HOSTESS. Do I? Yeain very truthdo Ian 'twere an aspen
leaf. I
cannot abide swagg'rers.
Enter PISTOLBARDOLPHand PAGE
PISTOL. God save youSir John!
FALSTAFF. WelcomeAncient Pistol. HerePistolI charge you
with
a cup of sack; do you discharge upon mine hostess.
PISTOL. I will discharge upon herSir Johnwith two bullets.
FALSTAFF. She is pistol-proofsir; you shall not hardly offend
her.
HOSTESS. ComeI'll drink no proofs nor no bullets. I'll drink
no
more than will do me goodfor no man's pleasureI.
PISTOL. Then to youMistress Dorothy; I will charge you.
DOLL. Charge me! I scorn youscurvy companion. What! you poor
baserascallycheatinglack-linen mate! Awayyou mouldy
rogueaway! I am meat for your master.
PISTOL. I know youMistress Dorothy.
DOLL. Awayyou cut-purse rascal! you filthy bungaway! By
this
wineI'll thrust my knife in your mouldy chapsan you play
the
saucy cuttle with me. Awayyou bottle-ale rascal! you
basket-hilt stale juggleryou! Since whenI pray yousir?
God's lightwith two points on your shoulder? Much!
PISTOL. God let me not live but I will murder your ruff for
this.
FALSTAFF. No morePistol; I would not have you go off here.
Discharge yourself of our companyPistol.
HOSTESS. Nogood Captain Pistol; not heresweet captain.
DOLL. Captain! Thou abominable damn'd cheaterart thou not
ashamed
to be called captain? An captains were of my mindthey would
truncheon you outfor taking their names upon you before you
have earn'd them. You a captain! you slavefor what? For
tearing
a poor whore's ruff in a bawdy-house? He a captain! hang him
rogue! He lives upon mouldy stew'd prunes and dried cakes. A
captain! God's lightthese villains will make the word as
odious
as the word 'occupy'; which was an excellent good word before
it
was ill sorted. Therefore captains had need look to't.
BARDOLPH. Pray thee go downgood ancient.
FALSTAFF. Hark thee hitherMistress Doll.
PISTOL. Not I! I tell thee whatCorporal BardolphI could
tear
her; I'll be reveng'd of her.
PAGE. Pray thee go down.
PISTOL. I'll see her damn'd first; to Pluto's damn'd lakeby
this
handto th' infernal deepwith Erebus and tortures vile
also.
Hold hook and linesay I. Downdowndogs! downfaitors!
Have
we not Hiren here?
HOSTESS. Good Captain Peeselbe quiet; 'tis very latei'
faith; I
beseek you nowaggravate your choler.
PISTOL. These be good humoursindeed! Shall packhorses
And hollow pamper'd jades of Asia
Which cannot go but thirty mile a day
Compare with Caesarsand with Cannibals
And Troiant Greeks? Nayrather damn them with
King Cerberus; and let the welkin roar.
Shall we fall foul for toys?
HOSTESS. By my trothCaptainthese are very bitter words.
BARDOLPH. Be gonegood ancient; this will grow to a brawl
anon.
PISTOL. Die men like dogs! Give crowns like pins! Have we not
Hiren
here?
HOSTESS. O' my wordCaptainthere's none such here. What the
good-year! do you think I would deny her? For God's sakebe
quiet.
PISTOL. Then feed and be fatmy fair Calipolis.
Comegive's some sack.
'Si fortune me tormente sperato me contento.'
Fear we broadsides? Nolet the fiend give fire.
Give me some sack; andsweetheartlie thou there.
[Laying down his sword]
Come we to full points hereand are etceteras nothings?
FALSTAFF. PistolI would be quiet.
PISTOL. Sweet knightI kiss thy neaf. What! we have seen the
seven
stars.
DOLL. For God's sake thrust him down stairs; I cannot endure
such a
fustian rascal.
PISTOL. Thrust him down stairs! Know we not Galloway nags?
FALSTAFF. Quoit him downBardolphlike a shove-groat
shilling.
Nayan 'a do nothing but speak nothing'a shall be nothing
here.
BARDOLPH. Comeget you down stairs.
PISTOL. What! shall we have incision? Shall we imbrue?
[Snatching up his sword]
Then death rock me asleepabridge my doleful days!
Whythenlet grievousghastlygaping wounds
Untwine the Sisters Three! ComeAtroposI say!
HOSTESS. Here's goodly stuff toward!
FALSTAFF. Give me my rapierboy.
DOLL. I pray theeJackI pray theedo not draw.
FALSTAFF. Get you down stairs.
[Drawing and driving PISTOL out]
HOSTESS. Here's a goodly tumult! I'll forswear keeping house
afore
I'll be in these tirrits and frights. So; murderI warrant
now.
Alasalas! put up your naked weaponsput up your naked
weapons.
Exeunt PISTOL and BARDOLPH
DOLL. I pray theeJackbe quiet; the rascal's gone. Ahyou
whoreson little valiant villainyou!
HOSTESS. Are you not hurt i' th' groin? Methought 'a made a
shrewd
thrust at your belly.
Re-enter BARDOLPH
FALSTAFF. Have you turn'd him out a doors?
BARDOLPH. Yeasir. The rascal's drunk. You have hurt himsir
i'
th' shoulder.
FALSTAFF. A rascal! to brave me!
DOLL. Ahyou sweet little rogueyou! Alaspoor apehow thou
sweat'st! Comelet me wipe thy face. Come onyou whoreson
chops. Ahrogue! i' faithI love thee. Thou art as valorous
as
Hector of Troyworth five of Agamemnonand ten times better
than the Nine Worthies. Ahvillain!
FALSTAFF. A rascally slave! I will toss the rogue in a blanket.
DOLL. Doan thou dar'st for thy heart. An thou dostI'll
canvass
thee between a pair of sheets.
Enter musicians
PAGE. The music is comesir.
FALSTAFF. Let them play. Playsirs. Sit on my kneeDon. A
rascal
bragging slave! The rogue fled from me like quick-silver.
DOLL. I' faithand thou follow'dst him like a church. Thou
whoreson little tidy Bartholomew boar-pigwhen wilt thou
leave
fighting a days and foining a nightsand begin to patch up
thine
old body for heaven?
EnterbehindPRINCE HENRY and POINS disguised as drawers
FALSTAFF. Peacegood Doll! Do not speak like a death's-head;
do
not bid me remember mine end.
DOLL. Sirrahwhat humour's the Prince of?
FALSTAFF. A good shallow young fellow. 'A would have made a
good
pantler; 'a would ha' chipp'd bread well.
DOLL. They say Poins has a good wit.
FALSTAFF. He a good wit! hang himbaboon! His wit's as thick
as
Tewksbury mustard; there's no more conceit in him than is in
a
mallet.
DOLL. Why does the Prince love him sothen?
FALSTAFF. Because their legs are both of a bignessand 'a
plays at
quoits welland eats conger and fenneland drinks off
candles'
ends for flap-dragonsand rides the wild mare with the boys
and
jumps upon join'd-stoolsand swears with a good graceand
wears
his boots very smoothlike unto the sign of the Legand
breeds
no bate with telling of discreet stories; and such other
gambol
faculties 'a hasthat show a weak mind and an able bodyfor
the
which the Prince admits him. For the Prince himself is such
another; the weight of a hair will turn the scales between
their
avoirdupois.
PRINCE. Would not this nave of a wheel have his ears cut off?
POINS. Let's beat him before his whore.
PRINCE. Look whe'er the wither'd elder hath not his poll claw'd
like a parrot.
POINS. Is it not strange that desire should so many years
outlive
performance?
FALSTAFF. Kiss meDoll.
PRINCE. Saturn and Venus this year in conjunction! What says
th'
almanac to that?
POINS. And look whether the fiery Trigonhis manbe not
lisping
to his master's old tableshis note-bookhis
counsel-keeper.
FALSTAFF. Thou dost give me flattering busses.
DOLL. By my trothI kiss thee with a most constant heart.
FALSTAFF. I am oldI am old.
DOLL. I love thee better than I love e'er a scurvy young boy of
them all.
FALSTAFF. What stuff wilt have a kirtle of? I shall receive
money a
Thursday. Shalt have a cap to-morrow. A merry songcome. 'A
grows late; we'll to bed. Thou't forget me when I am gone.
DOLL. By my troththou't set me a-weepingan thou say'st so.
Prove that ever I dress myself handsome till thy return.
Well
hearken a' th' end.
FALSTAFF. Some sackFrancis.
PRINCE & POINS. Anonanonsir. [Advancing]
FALSTAFF. Ha! a bastard son of the King's? And art thou not
Poins
his brother?
PRINCE. Whythou globe of sinful continentswhat a life dost
thou
lead!
FALSTAFF. A better than thou. I am a gentleman: thou art a
drawer.
PRINCE. Very truesirand I come to draw you out by the ears.
HOSTESS. Othe Lord preserve thy Grace! By my trothwelcome
to
London. Now the Lord bless that sweet face of thine. O Jesu
are
you come from Wales?
FALSTAFF. Thou whoreson mad compound of majestyby this light
flesh and corrupt bloodthou art welcome.
[Leaning his band upon DOLL]
DOLL. Howyou fat fool! I scorn you.
POINS. My lordhe will drive you out of your revenge and turn
all
to a merrimentif you take not the heat.
PRINCE. YOU whoreson candle-mineyouhow vilely did you speak
of
me even now before this honestvirtuouscivil gentlewoman!
HOSTESS. God's blessing of your good heart! and so she isby
my
troth.
FALSTAFF. Didst thou hear me?
PRINCE. Yea; and you knew meas you did when you ran away by
Gadshill. You knew I was at your backand spoke it on
purpose to
try my patience.
FALSTAFF. Nonono; not so; I did not think thou wast within
hearing.
PRINCE. I shall drive you then to confess the wilful abuseand
then I know how to handle you.
FALSTAFF. No abuseHalo' mine honour; no abuse.
PRINCE. Not to dispraise meand call me panderand
bread-chipperand I know not what!
FALSTAFF. No abuseHal.
POINS. No abuse!
FALSTAFF. No abuseNedi' th' world; honest Nednone. I
disprais'd him before the wicked--that the wicked might not
fall
in love with thee; in which doingI have done the part of a
careful friend and a true subject; and thy father is to give
me
thanks for it. No abuseHal; noneNednone; nofaith
boys
none.
PRINCE. See nowwhether pure fear and entire cowardice doth
not
make thee wrong this virtuous gentlewoman to close with us?
Is
she of the wicked? Is thine hostess here of the wicked? Or is
thy
boy of the wicked? Or honest Bardolphwhose zeal burns in
his
noseof the wicked?
POINS. Answerthou dead elmanswer.
FALSTAFF. The fiend hath prick'd down Bardolph irrecoverable;
and
his face is Lucifer's privy-kitchenwhere he doth nothing
but
roast malt-worms. For the boy--there is a good angel about
him;
but the devil outbids him too.
PRINCE. For the women?
FALSTAFF. For one of them--she's in hell alreadyand burns
poor
souls. For th' other--I owe her money; and whether she be
damn'd
for thatI know not.
HOSTESS. NoI warrant you.
FALSTAFF. NoI think thou art not; I think thou art quit for
that.
Marrythere is another indictment upon thee for suffering
flesh
to be eaten in thy housecontrary to the law; for the which
think thou wilt howl.
HOSTESS. All vict'lers do so. What's a joint of mutton or two
in a
whole Lent?
PRINCE. Yougentlewoman-DOLL.
What says your Grace?
FALSTAFF. His Grace says that which his flesh rebels against.
[Knocking within]
HOSTESS. Who knocks so loud at door? Look to th' door there
Francis.
Enter PETO
PRINCE. Petohow now! What news?
PETO. The King your father is at Westminster;
And there are twenty weak and wearied posts
Come from the north; and as I came along
I met and overtook a dozen captains
Bare-headedsweatingknocking at the taverns
And asking every one for Sir John Falstaff.
PRINCE. By heavenPoinsI feel me much to blame
So idly to profane the precious time
When tempest of commotionlike the south
Borne with black vapourdoth begin to melt
And drop upon our bare unarmed heads.
Give me my sword and cloak. Falstaffgood night.
Exeunt PRINCEPOINSPETOand BARDOLPH
FALSTAFF. Now comes in the sweetest morsel of the nightand we
must henceand leave it unpick'd. [Knocking within] More
knocking at the door!
Re-enter BARDOLPH
How now! What's the matter?
BARDOLPH. You must away to courtsirpresently;
A dozen captains stay at door for you.
FALSTAFF. [To the PAGE]. Pay the musicianssirrah.--Farewell
hostess; farewellDoll. You seemy good wencheshow men of
merit are sought after; the undeserver may sleepwhen the
man of
action is call'd on. Farewellgood wenches. If I be not sent
away postI will see you again ere I go.
DOLL. I cannot speak. If my heart be not ready to burst!
Wellsweet Jackhave a care of thyself.
FALSTAFF. Farewellfarewell.
Exeunt FALSTAFF and BARDOLPH
HOSTESS. Wellfare thee well. I have known thee these
twenty-nine
yearscome peascod-time; but an honester and truer-hearted
man--wellfare thee well.
BARDOLPH. [ Within] Mistress Tearsheet!
HOSTESS. What's the matter?
BARDOLPH. [ Within] Bid Mistress Tearsheet come to my master.
HOSTESS. Orun Dollrunrungood Come. [To BARDOLPH] She
comes blubber'd.--Yeawill you comeDoll? Exeunt
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ACT III. SCENE I.
Westminster. The palace
Enter the KING in his nightgownwith a page
KING. Go call the Earls of Surrey and of Warwick;
Butere they comebid them o'er-read these letters
And well consider of them. Make good speed. Exit page
How many thousands of my poorest subjects
Are at this hour asleep! O sleepO gentle sleep
Nature's soft nursehow have I frightened thee
That thou no more will weigh my eyelids down
And steep my senses in forgetfulness?
Why rathersleepliest thou in smoky cribs
Upon uneasy pallets stretching thee
And hush'd with buzzing night-flies to thy slumber
Than in the perfum'd chambers of the great
Under the canopies of costly state
And lull'd with sound of sweetest melody?
O thou dull godwhy liest thou with the vile
In loathsome bedsand leav'st the kingly couch
A watch-case or a common 'larum-bell?
Wilt thou upon the high and giddy mast
Seal up the ship-boy's eyesand rock his brains
In cradle of the rude imperious surge
And in the visitation of the winds
Who take the ruffian billows by the top
Curling their monstrous headsand hanging them
With deafing clamour in the slippery clouds
That with the hurly death itself awakes?
Canst thouO partial sleepgive thy repose
To the wet sea-boy in an hour so rude;
And in the calmest and most stillest night
With all appliances and means to boot
Deny it to a king? Thenhappy lowlie down!
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.
Enter WARWICK and Surrey
WARWICK. Many good morrows to your Majesty!
KING. Is it good morrowlords?
WARWICK. 'Tis one o'clockand past.
KING. Why thengood morrow to you allmy lords.
Have you read o'er the letters that I sent you?
WARWICK. We havemy liege.
KING. Then you perceive the body of our kingdom
How foul it is; what rank diseases grow
And with what dangernear the heart of it.
WARWICK. It is but as a body yet distempered;
Which to his former strength may be restored
With good advice and little medicine.
My Lord Northumberland will soon be cool'd.
KING. O God! that one might read the book of fate
And see the revolution of the times
Make mountains leveland the continent
Weary of solid firmnessmelt itself
Into the sea; and other times to see
The beachy girdle of the ocean
Too wide for Neptune's hips; how chances mock
And changes fill the cup of alteration
With divers liquors! Oif this were seen
The happiest youthviewing his progress through
What perils pastwhat crosses to ensue
Would shut the book and sit him down and die.
'Tis not ten years gone
Since Richard and Northumberlandgreat friends
Did feast togetherand in two years after
Were they at wars. It is but eight years since
This Percy was the man nearest my soul;
Who like a brother toil'd in my affairs
And laid his love and life under my foot;
Yeafor my sakeeven to the eyes of Richard
Gave him defiance. But which of you was by-[
To WARWICK] Youcousin Nevilas I may remember-When
Richardwith his eye brim full of tears
Then check'd and rated by Northumberland
Did speak these wordsnow prov'd a prophecy?
'Northumberlandthou ladder by the which
My cousin Bolingbroke ascends my throne'-Though
thenGod knowsI had no such intent
But that necessity so bow'd the state
That I and greatness were compell'd to kiss--
'The time shall come'--thus did he follow it-'
The time will come that foul singathering head
Shall break into corruption' so went on
Foretelling this same time's condition
And the division of our amity.
WARWICK. There is a history in all men's lives
Figuring the natures of the times deceas'd;
The which observ'da man may prophesy
With a near aimof the main chance of things
As yet not come to lifewho in their seeds
And weak beginning lie intreasured.
Such things become the hatch and brood of time;
Andby the necessary form of this
King Richard might create a perfect guess
That great Northumberlandthen false to him
Would of that seed grow to a greater falseness;
Which should not find a ground to root upon
Unless on you.
KING. Are these things then necessities?
Then let us meet them like necessities;
And that same word even now cries out on us.
They say the Bishop and Northumberland
Are fifty thousand strong.
WARWICK. It cannot bemy lord.
Rumour doth doublelike the voice and echo
The numbers of the feared. Please it your Grace
To go to bed. Upon my soulmy lord
The powers that you already have sent forth
Shall bring this prize in very easily.
To comfort you the moreI have receiv'd
A certain instance that Glendower is dead.
Your Majesty hath been this fortnight ill;
And these unseasoned hours perforce must ad
Unto your sickness.
KING. I will take your counsel.
Andwere these inward wars once out of hand
We woulddear lordsunto the Holy Land. Exeunt
SCENE II.
Gloucestershire. Before JusticeSHALLOW'S house
Enter SHALLOW and SILENCEmeeting; MOULDYSHADOWWARTFEEBLE
BULLCALF
and servants behind
SHALLOW. Come oncome oncome on; give me your handsir;
give me
your handsir. An early stirrerby the rood! And how doth
my
good cousin Silence?
SILENCE. Good morrowgood cousin Shallow.
SHALLOW. And how doth my cousinyour bed-fellow? and your
fairest
daughter and minemy god-daughter Ellen?
SILENCE. Alasa black ouselcousin Shallow!
SHALLOW. By yea and nosir. I dare say my cousin William is
become
a good scholar; he is at Oxford stillis he not?
SILENCE. Indeedsirto my cost.
SHALLOW. 'A mustthento the Inns o' Court shortly. I was
once of
Clement's Inn; where I think they will talk of mad Shallow
yet.
SILENCE. You were call'd 'lusty Shallow' thencousin.
SHALLOW. By the massI was call'd anything; and I would have
done
anything indeed tooand roundly too. There was Iand little
John Doit of Staffordshireand black George Barnesand
Francis
Pickboneand Will Squele a Cotsole man--you had not four
such
swinge-bucklers in all the Inns of Court again. And I may say
to
you we knew where the bona-robas wereand had the best of
them
all at commandment. Then was Jack Falstaffnow Sir John
boy
and page to Thomas MowbrayDuke of Norfolk.
SILENCE. This Sir Johncousinthat comes hither anon about
soldiers?
SHALLOW. The same Sir Johnthe very same. I see him break
Scoggin's head at the court gatewhen 'a was a crack not
thus
high; and the very same day did I fight with one Sampson
Stockfisha fruitererbehind Gray's Inn. JesuJesuthe
mad
days that I have spent! and to see how many of my old
acquaintance are dead!
SILENCE. We shall all followcousin.
SHALLOW. Certain'tis certain; very surevery sure. Deathas
the
Psalmist saithis certain to all; all shall die. How a good
yoke
of bullocks at Stamford fair?
SILENCE. By my trothI was not there.
SHALLOW. Death is certain. Is old Double of your town living
yet?
SILENCE. Deadsir.
SHALLOW. JesuJesudead! drew a good bow; and dead! 'A shot a
fine shoot. John a Gaunt loved him welland betted much
money on
his head. Dead! 'A would have clapp'd i' th' clout at twelve
scoreand carried you a forehand shaft a fourteen and
fourteen
and a halfthat it would have done a man's heart good to
see.
How a score of ewes now?
SILENCE. Thereafter as they be--a score of good ewes may be
worth
ten pounds.
SHALLOW. And is old Double dead?
Enter BARDOLPHand one with him
SILENCE. Here come two of Sir John Falstaffs menas I think.
SHALLOW. Good morrowhonest gentlemen.
BARDOLPH. I beseech youwhich is Justice Shallow?
SHALLOW. I am Robert Shallowsira poor esquire of this
county
and one of the King's justices of the peace. What is your
good
pleasure with me?
BARDOLPH. My captainsircommends him to you; my captainSir
John Falstaff--a tall gentlemanby heavenand a most
gallant
leader.
SHALLOW. He greets me wellsir; I knew him a good back-sword
man.
How doth the good knight? May I ask how my lady his wife
doth?
BARDOLPH. Sirpardon; a soldier is better accommodated than
with a
wife.
SHALLOW. It is well saidin faithsir; and it is well said
indeed
too. 'Better accommodated!' It is good; yeaindeedis it.
Good
phrases are surelyand ever werevery commendable.
'Accommodated!' It comes of accommodo. Very good; a good
phrase.
BARDOLPH. Pardonsir; I have heard the word. 'Phrase' call you
it?
By this dayI know not the phrase; but I will maintain the
word
with my sword to be a soldier-like wordand a word of
exceeding
good commandby heaven. Accommodated: that iswhen a man
isas
they sayaccommodated; orwhen a man is being-whereby 'a
may be
thought to be accommodated; which is an excellent thing.
Enter FALSTAFF
SHALLOW. It is very just. Lookhere comes good Sir John. Give
me
your good handgive me your worship's good hand. By my
troth
you like well and bear your years very well. Welcomegood
Sir
John.
FALSTAFF. I am glad to see you wellgood Master Robert
Shallow.
Master Surecardas I think?
SHALLOW. NoSir John; it is my cousin Silencein commission
with
me.
FALSTAFF. Good Master Silenceit well befits you should be of
the
peace.
SILENCE. Your good worship is welcome.
FALSTAFF. Fie! this is hot weather. Gentlemenhave you
provided me
here half a dozen sufficient men?
SHALLOW. Marryhave wesir. Will you sit?
FALSTAFF. Let me see themI beseech you.
SHALLOW. Where's the roll? Where's the roll? Where's the roll?
Let
me seelet me seelet me see. Sosososo--soso--yea
marrysir. Rafe Mouldy! Let them appear as I call; let them
do
solet them do so. Let me see; where is Mouldy?
MOULDY. Herean't please you.
SHALLOW. What think youSir John? A good-limb'd fellow; young
strongand of good friends.
FALSTAFF. Is thy name Mouldy?
MOULDY. Yeaan't please you.
FALSTAFF. 'Tis the more time thou wert us'd.
SHALLOW. Hahaha! most excellenti' faith! Things that are
mouldy lack use. Very singular good! In faithwell saidSir
John; very well said.
FALSTAFF. Prick him.
MOULDY. I was prick'd well enough beforean you could have let
me
alone. My old dame will be undone now for one to do her
husbandry
and her drudgery. You need not to have prick'd me; there are
other men fitter to go out than I.
FALSTAFF. Go to; peaceMouldy; you shall go. Mouldyit is
time
you were spent.
MOULDY. Spent!
SHALLOW. Peacefellowpeace; stand aside; know you where you
are?
For th' otherSir John--let me see. Simon Shadow!
FALSTAFF. Yeamarrylet me have him to sit under. He's like
to be
a cold soldier.
SHALLOW. Where's Shadow?
SHADOW. Heresir.
FALSTAFF. Shadowwhose son art thou?
SHADOW. My mother's sonsir.
FALSTAFF. Thy mother's son! Like enough; and thy father's
shadow.
So the son of the female is the shadow of the male. It is
often
so indeed; but much of the father's substance!
SHALLOW. Do you like himSir John?
FALSTAFF. Shadow will serve for summer. Prick him; for we have
a
number of shadows fill up the muster-book.
SHALLOW. Thomas Wart!
FALSTAFF. Where's he?
WART. Heresir.
FALSTAFF. Is thy name Wart?
WART. Yeasir.
FALSTAFF. Thou art a very ragged wart.
SHALLOW. Shall I prick himSir John?
FALSTAFF. It were superfluous; for his apparel is built upon
his
backand the whole frame stands upon pins. Prick him no
more.
SHALLOW. Hahaha! You can do itsir; you can do it. I
commend
you well. Francis Feeble!
FEEBLE. Heresir.
FALSTAFF. What trade art thouFeeble?
FEEBLE. A woman's tailorsir.
SHALLOW. Shall I prick himsir?
FALSTAFF. You may; but if he had been a man's tailorhe'd ha'
prick'd you. Wilt thou make as many holes in an enemy's
battle as
thou hast done in a woman's petticoat?
FEEBLE. I will do my good willsir; you can have no more.
FALSTAFF. Well saidgood woman's tailor! well saidcourageous
Feeble! Thou wilt be as valiant as the wrathful dove or most
magnanimous mouse. Prick the woman's tailor--wellMaster
ShallowdeepMaster Shallow.
FEEBLE. I would Wart might have gonesir.
FALSTAFF. I would thou wert a man's tailorthat thou mightst
mend
him and make him fit to go. I cannot put him to a private
soldierthat is the leader of so many thousands. Let that
sufficemost forcible Feeble.
FEEBLE. It shall sufficesir.
FALSTAFF. I am bound to theereverend Feeble. Who is next?
SHALLOW. Peter Bullcalf o' th' green!
FALSTAFF. Yeamarrylet's see Bullcalf.
BULLCALF. Heresir.
FALSTAFF. Fore Goda likely fellow! Comeprick me Bullcalf
till
he roar again.
BULLCALF. O Lord! good my lord captain
FALSTAFF. Whatdost thou roar before thou art prick'd?
BULLCALF. O Lordsir! I am a diseased man.
FALSTAFF. What disease hast thou?
BULLCALF. A whoreson coldsira coughsirwhich I caught
with
ringing in the King's affairs upon his coronation daysir.
FALSTAFF. Comethou shalt go to the wars in a gown. We will
have
away thy cold; and I will take such order that thy friends
shall
ring for thee. Is here all?
SHALLOW. Here is two more call'd than your number. You must
have
but four heresir; and soI pray yougo in with me to
dinner.
FALSTAFF. ComeI will go drink with youbut I cannot tarry
dinner. I am glad to see youby my trothMaster Shallow.
SHALLOW. OSir Johndo you remember since we lay all night in
the
windmill in Saint George's Field?
FALSTAFF. No more of thatMaster Shallowno more of that.
SHALLOW. Ha'twas a merry night. And is Jane Nightwork alive?
FALSTAFF. She livesMaster Shallow.
SHALLOW. She never could away with me.
FALSTAFF. Nevernever; she would always say she could not
abide
Master Shallow.
SHALLOW. By the massI could anger her to th' heart. She was
then
a bona-roba. Doth she hold her own well?
FALSTAFF. OldoldMaster Shallow.
SHALLOW. Nayshe must be old; she cannot choose but be old;
certain she's old; and had Robin Nightworkby old Nightwork
before I came to Clement's Inn.
SILENCE. That's fifty-five year ago.
SHALLOW. Hacousin Silencethat thou hadst seen that that
this
knight and I have seen! HaSir Johnsaid I well?
FALSTAFF. We have heard the chimes at midnightMaster Shallow.
SHALLOW. That we havethat we havethat we have; in faith
Sir
Johnwe have. Our watchword was 'Hemboys!' Comelet's to
dinner; comelet's to dinner. Jesusthe days that we have
seen!
Comecome.
Exeunt FALSTAFF and the JUSTICES
BULLCALF. Good Master Corporate Bardolphstand my friend; and
here's four Harry ten shillings in French crowns for you. In
very
truthsirI had as lief be hang'dsiras go. And yetfor
mine own partsirI do not care; but rather because I am
unwilling andfor mine own parthave a desire to stay with
my
friends; elsesirI did not care for mine own part so much.
BARDOLPH. Go to; stand aside.
MOULDY. Andgood Master Corporal Captainfor my old dame's
sake
stand my friend. She has nobody to do anything about her when
am gone; and she is oldand cannot help herself. You shall
have
fortysir.
BARDOLPH. Go to; stand aside.
FEEBLE. By my trothI care not; a man can die but once; we owe
God
a death. I'll ne'er bear a base mind. An't be my destinyso;
an't be notso. No man's too good to serve 's Prince; and
let
it go which way it willhe that dies this year is quit for
the
next.
BARDOLPH. Well said; th'art a good fellow.
FEEBLE. FaithI'll bear no base mind.
Re-enter FALSTAFF and the JUSTICES
FALSTAFF. Comesirwhich men shall I have?
SHALLOW. Four of which you please.
BARDOLPH. Sira word with you. I have three pound to free
Mouldy
and Bullcalf.
FALSTAFF. Go to; well.
SHALLOW. ComeSir Johnwhich four will you have?
FALSTAFF. Do you choose for me.
SHALLOW. Marrythen--MouldyBullcalfFeebleand Shadow.
FALSTAFF. Mouldy and Bullcalf: for youMouldystay at home
till
you are past service; and for your partBullcalfgrow you
come
unto it. I will none of you.
SHALLOW. Sir JohnSir Johndo not yourself wrong. They are
your
likeliest menand I would have you serv'd with the best.
FALSTAFF. Will you tell meMaster Shallowhow to choose a
man?
Care I for the limbthe thewsthe staturebulkand big
assemblance of a man! Give me the spiritMaster Shallow.
Here's
Wart; you see what a ragged appearance it is. 'A shall charge
you
and discharge you with the motion of a pewterer's hammer
come
off and on swifter than he that gibbets on the brewer's
bucket.
And this same half-fac'd fellowShadow--give me this man. He
presents no mark to the enemy; the foeman may with as great
aim
level at the edge of a penknife. Andfor a retreat--how
swiftly
will this Feeblethe woman's tailorrun off! Ogive me the
spare menand spare me the great ones. Put me a caliver into
Wart's handBardolph.
BARDOLPH. HoldWart. Traverse--thusthusthus.
FALSTAFF. Comemanage me your caliver. So--very well. Go to;
very
good; exceeding good. Ogive me always a littleleanold
choptbald shot. Well saidi' faithWart; th'art a good
scab.
Holdthere's a tester for thee.
SHALLOW. He is not his craft's masterhe doth not do it right.
I
remember at Mile-end Greenwhen I lay at Clement's Inn--I
was
then Sir Dagonet in Arthur's show--there was a little quiver
fellowand 'a would manage you his piece thus; and 'a would
about and aboutand come you in and come you in. 'Rahtah
tah!' would 'a say; 'Bounce!' would 'a say; and away again
would
'a goand again would 'a come. I shall ne'er see such a
fellow.
FALSTAFF. These fellows will do well. Master ShallowGod keep
you!
Master SilenceI will not use many words with you: Fare you
well! Gentlemen bothI thank you. I must a dozen mile
to-night.
Bardolphgive the soldiers coats.
SHALLOW. Sir Johnthe Lord bless you; God prosper your
affairs;
God send us peace! At your returnvisit our house; let our
old
acquaintance be renewed. Peradventure I will with ye to the
court.
FALSTAFF. Fore Godwould you would.
SHALLOW. Go to; I have spoke at a word. God keep you.
FALSTAFF. Fare you wellgentle gentlemen. [Exeunt JUSTICES]
On
Bardolph; lead the men away. [Exeunt all but FALSTAFF] As I
returnI will fetch off these justices. I do see the bottom
of
justice Shallow. LordLordhow subject we old men are to
this
vice of lying! This same starv'd justice hath done nothing
but
prate to me of the wildness of his youth and the feats he
hath
done about Turnbull Street; and every third word a lieduer
paid
to the hearer than the Turk's tribute. I do remember him at
Clement's Innlike a man made after supper of a
cheese-paring.
When 'a was nakedhe was for all the world like a fork'd
radish
with a head fantastically carved upon it with a knife. 'A was
so
forlorn that his dimensions to any thick sight were
invisible. 'A
was the very genius of famine; yet lecherous as a monkeyand
the
whores call'd him mandrake. 'A came ever in the rearward of
the
fashionand sung those tunes to the overscutch'd huswifes
that
he heard the carmen whistleand sware they were his fancies
or
his good-nights. And now is this Vice's dagger become a
squire
and talks as familiarly of John a Gaunt as if he had been
sworn
brother to him; and I'll be sworn 'a ne'er saw him but once
in
the Tiltyard; and then he burst his head for crowding among
the
marshal's men. I saw itand told John a Gaunt he beat his
own
name; for you might have thrust him and all his apparel into
an
eel-skin; the case of a treble hautboy was a mansion for him
a
court--and now has he land and beeves. WellI'll be
acquainted
with him if I return; and 't shall go hard but I'll make him
a
philosopher's two stones to me. If the young dace be a bait
for
the old pikeI see no reason in the law of nature but I may
snap
at him. Let time shapeand there an end. Exit
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ACT IV. SCENE I.
Yorkshire. Within the Forest of Gaultree
Enter the ARCHBISHOP OF YORKMOWBRAYHASTINGSand others
ARCHBISHOP. What is this forest call'd
HASTINGS. 'Tis Gaultree Forestan't shall please your Grace.
ARCHBISHOP. Here standmy lordsand send discoverers forth
To know the numbers of our enemies.
HASTINGS. We have sent forth already.
ARCHBISHOP. 'Tis well done.
My friends and brethren in these great affairs
I must acquaint you that I have receiv'd
New-dated letters from Northumberland;
Their cold intenttenourand substancethus:
Here doth he wish his personwith such powers
As might hold sortance with his quality
The which he could not levy; whereupon
He is retir'dto ripe his growing fortunes
To Scotland; and concludes in hearty prayers
That your attempts may overlive the hazard
And fearful meeting of their opposite.
MOWBRAY. Thus do the hopes we have in him touch ground
And dash themselves to pieces.
Enter A MESSENGER
HASTINGS. Nowwhat news?
MESSENGER. West of this forestscarcely off a mile
In goodly form comes on the enemy;
Andby the ground they hideI judge their number
Upon or near the rate of thirty thousand.
MOWBRAY. The just proportion that we gave them out.
Let us sway on and face them in the field.
Enter WESTMORELAND
ARCHBISHOP. What well-appointed leader fronts us here?
MOWBRAY. I think it is my Lord of Westmoreland.
WESTMORELAND. Health and fair greeting from our general
The PrinceLord John and Duke of Lancaster.
ARCHBISHOP. Say onmy Lord of Westmorelandin peace
What doth concern your coming.
WESTMORELAND. Thenmy lord
Unto your Grace do I in chief address
The substance of my speech. If that rebellion
Came like itselfin base and abject routs
Led on by bloody youthguarded with rags
And countenanc'd by boys and beggary-
I sayif damn'd commotion so appear'd
In his truenativeand most proper shape
Youreverend fatherand these noble lords
Had not been here to dress the ugly form
Of base and bloody insurrection
With your fair honours. YouLord Archbishop
Whose see is by a civil peace maintain'd
Whose beard the silver hand of peace hath touch'd
Whose learning and good letters peace hath tutor'd
Whose white investments figure innocence
The doveand very blessed spirit of peace-
Wherefore you do so ill translate yourself
Out of the speech of peacethat bears such grace
Into the harsh and boist'rous tongue of war;
Turning your books to gravesyour ink to blood
Your pens to lancesand your tongue divine
To a loud trumpet and a point of war?
ARCHBISHOP. Wherefore do I this? So the question stands.
Briefly to this end: we are all diseas'd
And with our surfeiting and wanton hours
Have brought ourselves into a burning fever
And we must bleed for it; of which disease
Our late KingRichardbeing infecteddied.
Butmy most noble Lord of Westmoreland
I take not on me here as a physician;
Nor do I as an enemy to peace
Troop in the throngs of military men;
But rather show awhile like fearful war
To diet rank minds sick of happiness
And purge th' obstructions which begin to stop
Our very veins of life. Hear me more plainly.
I have in equal balance justly weigh'd
What wrongs our arms may dowhat wrongs we suffer
And find our griefs heavier than our offences.
We see which way the stream of time doth run
And are enforc'd from our most quiet there
By the rough torrent of occasion;
And have the summary of all our griefs
When time shall serveto show in articles;
Which long ere this we offer'd to the King
And might by no suit gain our audience:
When we are wrong'dand would unfold our griefs
We are denied access unto his person
Even by those men that most have done us wrong.
The dangers of the days but newly gone
Whose memory is written on the earth
With yet appearing bloodand the examples
Of every minute's instancepresent now
Hath put us in these ill-beseeming arms;
Not to break peaceor any branch of it
But to establish here a peace indeed
Concurring both in name and quality.
WESTMORELAND. When ever yet was your appeal denied;
Wherein have you been galled by the King;
What peer hath been suborn'd to grate on you
That you should seal this lawless bloody book
Of forg'd rebellion with a seal divine
And consecrate commotion's bitter edge?
ARCHBISHOP. My brother generalthe commonwealth
To brother horn an household cruelty
I make my quarrel in particular.
WESTMORELAND. There is no need of any such redress;
Or if there wereit not belongs to you.
MOWBRAY. Why not to him in partand to us all
That feel the bruises of the days before
And suffer the condition of these times
To lay a heavy and unequal hand
Upon our honours?
WESTMORELAND. O my good Lord Mowbray
Construe the times to their necessities
And you shall sayindeedit is the time
And not the Kingthat doth you injuries.
Yetfor your partit not appears to me
Either from the King or in the present time
That you should have an inch of any ground
To build a grief on. Were you not restor'd
To all the Duke of Norfolk's signiories
Your noble and right well-rememb'red father's?
MOWBRAY. What thingin honourhad my father lost
That need to be reviv'd and breath'd in me?
The King that lov'd himas the state stood then
Was force perforce compell'd to banish him
And then that Henry Bolingbroke and he
Being mounted and both roused in their seats
Their neighing coursers daring of the spur
Their armed staves in chargetheir beavers down
Their eyes of fire sparkling through sights of steel
And the loud trumpet blowing them together--
Thenthenwhen there was nothing could have stay'd
My father from the breast of Bolingbroke
Owhen the King did throw his warder down--
His own life hung upon the staff he threw--
Then threw he down himselfand all their lives
That by indictment and by dint of sword
Have since miscarried under Bolingbroke.
WESTMORELAND. You speakLord Mowbraynow you know not what.
The Earl of Hereford was reputed then
In England the most valiant gentleman.
Who knows on whom fortune would then have smil'd?
But if your father had been victor there
He ne'er had borne it out of Coventry;
For all the countryin a general voice
Cried hate upon him; and all their prayers and love
Were set on Herefordwhom they doted on
And bless'd and grac'd indeed more than the King.
But this is mere digression from my purpose.
Here come I from our princely general
To know your griefs; to tell you from his Grace
That he will give you audience; and wherein
It shall appear that your demands are just
You shall enjoy themeverything set off
That might so much as think you enemies.
MOWBRAY. But he hath forc'd us to compel this offer;
And it proceeds from policynot love.
WESTMORELAND. Mowbray. you overween to take it so.
This offer comes from mercynot from fear;
Forlo! within a ken our army liesUpon
mine honourall too confident
To give admittance to a thought of fear.
Our battle is more full of names than yours
Our men more perfect in the use of arms
Our armour all as strongour cause the best;
Then reason will our hearts should be as good.
Say you notthenour offer is compell'd.
MOWBRAY. Wellby my will we shall admit no parley.
WESTMORELAND. That argues but the shame of your offence:
A rotten case abides no handling.
HASTINGS. Hath the Prince John a full commission
In very ample virtue of his father
To hear and absolutely to determine
Of what conditions we shall stand upon?
WESTMORELAND. That is intended in the general's name.
I muse you make so slight a question.
ARCHBISHOP. Then takemy Lord of Westmorelandthis schedule
For this contains our general grievances.
Each several article herein redress'd
All members of our causeboth here and hence
That are insinewed to this action
Acquitted by a true substantial form
And present execution of our wills
To us and to our purposes confin'dWe
come within our awful banks again
And knit our powers to the arm of peace.
WESTMORELAND. This will I show the general. Please youlords
In sight of both our battles we may meet;
And either end in peace--which God so frame!-
Or to the place of diff'rence call the swords
Which must decide it.
ARCHBISHOP. My lordwe will do so. Exit WESTMORELAND
MOWBRAY. There is a thing within my bosom tells me
That no conditions of our peace can stand.
HASTINGS. Fear you not that: if we can make our peace
Upon such large terms and so absolute
As our conditions shall consist upon
Our peace shall stand as firm as rocky mountains.
MOWBRAY. Yeabut our valuation shall be such
That every slight and false-derived cause
Yeaevery idleniceand wanton reason
Shall to the King taste of this action;
Thatwere our royal faiths martyrs in love
We shall be winnow'd with so rough a wind
That even our corn shall seem as light as chaff
And good from bad find no partition.
ARCHBISHOP. Nonomy lord. Note this: the King is weary
Of dainty and such picking grievances;
For he hath found to end one doubt by death
Revives two greater in the heirs of life;
And therefore will he wipe his tables clean
And keep no tell-tale to his memory
That may repeat and history his los
To new remembrance. For full well he knows
He cannot so precisely weed this land
As his misdoubts present occasion:
His foes are so enrooted with his friends
Thatplucking to unfix an enemy
He doth unfasten so and shake a friend.
So that this landlike an offensive wife
That hath enrag'd him on to offer strokes
As he is strikingholds his infant up
And hangs resolv'd correction in the arm
That was uprear'd to execution.
HASTINGS. Besidesthe King hath wasted all his rods
On late offendersthat he now doth lack
The very instruments of chastisement;
So that his powerlike to a fangless lion
May offerbut not hold.
ARCHBISHOP. 'Tis very true;
And therefore be assur'dmy good Lord Marshal
If we do now make our atonement well
Our peace willlike a broken limb united
Grow stronger for the breaking.
MOWBRAY. Be it so.
Here is return'd my Lord of Westmoreland.
Re-enter WESTMORELAND
WESTMORELAND. The Prince is here at hand. Pleaseth your
lordship
To meet his Grace just distance 'tween our armies?
MOWBRAY. Your Grace of Yorkin God's name thenset forward.
ARCHBISHOP. Beforeand greet his Grace. My lordwe come.
Exeunt
SCENE II.
Another part of the forest
Enterfrom one sideMOWBRAYattended; afterwardsthe
ARCHBISHOP
HASTINGSand others; from the other sidePRINCE JOHN of
LANCASTER
WESTMORELANDOFFICERSand others
PRINCE JOHN. You are well encount'red heremy cousin Mowbray.
Good day to yougentle Lord Archbishop;
And so to youLord Hastingsand to all.
My Lord of Yorkit better show'd with you
When that your flockassembled by the bell
Encircled you to hear with reverence
Your exposition on the holy text
Than now to see you here an iron man
Cheering a rout of rebels with your drum
Turning the word to swordand life to death.
That man that sits within a monarch's heart
And ripens in the sunshine of his favour
Would he abuse the countenance of the king
Alackwhat mischiefs might he set abroach
In shadow of such greatness! With youLord Bishop
It is even so. Who hath not heard it spoken
How deep you were within the books of God?
To us the speaker in His parliament
To us th' imagin'd voice of God himself
The very opener and intelligencer
Between the gracethe sanctities of heaven
And our dull workings. Owho shall believe
But you misuse the reverence of your place
Employ the countenance and grace of heav'n
As a false favourite doth his prince's name
In deeds dishonourable? You have ta'en up
Under the counterfeited zeal of God
The subjects of His substitutemy father
And both against the peace of heaven and him
Have here up-swarm'd them.
ARCHBISHOP. Good my Lord of Lancaster
I am not here against your father's peace;
Butas I told my Lord of Westmoreland
The time misord'red dothin common sense
Crowd us and crush us to this monstrous form
To hold our safety up. I sent your Grace
The parcels and particulars of our grief
The which hath been with scorn shov'd from the court
Whereon this hydra son of war is born;
Whose dangerous eyes may well be charm'd asleep
With grant of our most just and right desires;
And true obedienceof this madness cur'd
Stoop tamely to the foot of majesty.
MOWBRAY. If notwe ready are to try our fortunes
To the last man.
HASTINGS. And though we here fall down
We have supplies to second our attempt.
If they miscarrytheirs shall second them;
And so success of mischief shall be born
And heir from heir shall hold this quarrel up
Whiles England shall have generation.
PRINCE JOHN. YOU are too shallowHastingsmuch to shallow
To sound the bottom of the after-times.
WESTMORELAND. Pleaseth your Grace to answer them directly
How far forth you do like their articles.
PRINCE JOHN. I like them all and do allow them well;
And swear hereby the honour of my blood
My father's purposes have been mistook;
And some about him have too lavishly
Wrested his meaning and authority.
My lordthese griefs shall be with speed redress'd;
Upon my soulthey shall. If this may please you
Discharge your powers unto their several counties
As we will ours; and herebetween the armies
Let's drink together friendly and embrace
That all their eyes may bear those tokens home
Of our restored love and amity.
ARCHBISHOP. I take your princely word for these redresses.
PRINCE JOHN. I give it youand will maintain my word;
And thereupon I drink unto your Grace.
HASTINGS. GoCaptainand deliver to the army
This news of peace. Let them have payand part.
I know it will please them. Hie theeCaptain.
Exit Officer
ARCHBISHOP. To youmy noble Lord of Westmoreland.
WESTMORELAND. I pledge your Grace; and if you knew what pains
I have bestow'd to breed this present peace
You would drink freely; but my love to ye
Shall show itself more openly hereafter.
ARCHBISHOP. I do not doubt you.
WESTMORELAND. I am glad of it.
Health to my lord and gentle cousinMowbray.
MOWBRAY. You wish me health in very happy season
For I am on the sudden something ill.
ARCHBISHOP. Against ill chances men are ever merry;
But heaviness foreruns the good event.
WESTMORELAND. Therefore be merrycoz; since sudden sorrow
Serves to say thus'Some good thing comes to-morrow.'
ARCHBISHOP. Believe meI am passing light in spirit.
MOWBRAY. So much the worseif your own rule be true.
[Shouts within]
PRINCE JOHN. The word of peace is rend'red. Harkhow they
shout!
MOWBRAY. This had been cheerful after victory.
ARCHBISHOP. A peace is of the nature of a conquest;
For then both parties nobly are subdu'd
And neither party loser.
PRINCE JOHN. Gomy lord
And let our army be discharged too.
Exit WESTMORELAND
Andgood my lordso please you let our trains
March by usthat we may peruse the men
We should have cop'd withal.
ARCHBISHOP. Gogood Lord Hastings
Andere they be dismiss'dlet them march by.
Exit HASTINGS
PRINCE JOHN. I trustlordswe shall lie to-night together.
Re-enter WESTMORELAND
Nowcousinwherefore stands our army still?
WESTMORELAND. The leadershaving charge from you to stand
Will not go off until they hear you speak.
PRINCE JOHN. They know their duties.
Re-enter HASTINGS
HASTINGS. My lordour army is dispers'd already.
Like youthful steers unyok'dthey take their courses
Eastwestnorthsouth; or like a school broke up
Each hurries toward his home and sporting-place.
WESTMORELAND. Good tidingsmy Lord Hastings; for the which
I do arrest theetraitorof high treason;
And youLord Archbishopand youLord Mowbray
Of capital treason I attach you both.
MOWBRAY. Is this proceeding just and honourable?
WESTMORELAND. Is your assembly so?
ARCHBISHOP. Will you thus break your faith?
PRINCE JOHN. I pawn'd thee none:
I promis'd you redress of these same grievances
Whereof you did complain; whichby mine honour
I will perform with a most Christian care.
But for yourebels--look to taste the due
Meet for rebellion and such acts as yours.
Most shallowly did you these arms commence
Fondly brought hereand foolishly sent hence.
Strike up our drumspursue the scatt'red stray.
Godand not wehath safely fought to-day.
Some guard these traitors to the block of death
Treason's true bed and yielder-up of breath. Exeunt
SCENE III.
Another part of the forest
Alarum; excursions. Enter FALSTAFF and COLVILLEmeeting
FALSTAFF. What's your namesir? Of what condition are youand
of
what placeI pray?
COLVILLE. I am a knight sir; and my name is Colville of the
Dale.
FALSTAFF. Well thenColville is your namea knight is your
degreeand your place the Dale. Colville shall still be your
namea traitor your degreeand the dungeon your place--a
place
deep enough; so shall you be still Colville of the Dale.
COLVILLE. Are not you Sir John Falstaff?
FALSTAFF. As good a man as hesirwhoe'er I am. Do you yield
siror shall I sweat for you? If I do sweatthey are the
drops
of thy loversand they weep for thy death; therefore rouse
up
fear and tremblingand do observance to my mercy.
COLVILLE. I think you are Sir John Falstaffand in that
thought
yield me.
FALSTAFF. I have a whole school of tongues in this belly of
mine;
and not a tongue of them all speaks any other word but my
name.
An I had but a belly of any indifferencyI were simply the
most
active fellow in Europe. My wombmy wombmy womb undoes me.
Here comes our general.
Enter PRINCE JOHN OF LANCASTERWESTMORELAND
BLUNTand others
PRINCE JOHN. The heat is past; follow no further now.
Call in the powersgood cousin Westmoreland.
Exit WESTMORELAND
NowFalstaffwhere have you been all this while?
When everything is endedthen you come.
These tardy tricks of yours willon my life
One time or other break some gallows' back.
FALSTAFF. I would be sorrymy lordbut it should be thus: I
never
knew yet but rebuke and check was the reward of valour. Do
you
think me a swallowan arrowor a bullet? Have Iin my poor
and
old motionthe expedition of thought? I have speeded hither
with
the very extremest inch of possibility; I have found'red nine
score and odd posts; and heretravel tainted as I amhave
in
my pure and immaculate valourtaken Sir John Colville of the
Dalea most furious knight and valorous enemy. But what of
that?
He saw meand yielded; that I may justly say with the
hook-nos'd
fellow of Rome-I camesawand overcame.
PRINCE JOHN. It was more of his courtesy than your deserving.
FALSTAFF. I know not. Here he isand here I yield him; and I
beseech your Gracelet it be book'd with the rest of this
day's
deeds; orby the LordI will have it in a particular ballad
elsewith mine own picture on the top on'tColville kissing
my
foot; to the which course if I be enforc'dif you do not all
show like gilt twopences to meand Iin the clear sky of
fame
o'ershine you as much as the full moon doth the cinders of
the
elementwhich show like pins' heads to herbelieve not the
word
of the noble. Therefore let me have rightand let desert
mount.
PRINCE JOHN. Thine's too heavy to mount.
FALSTAFF. Let it shinethen.
PRINCE JOHN. Thine's too thick to shine.
FALSTAFF. Let it do somethingmy good lordthat may do me
good
and call it what you will.
PRINCE JOHN. Is thy name Colville?
COLVILLE. It ismy lord.
PRINCE JOHN. A famous rebel art thouColville.
FALSTAFF. And a famous true subject took him.
COLVILLE. I ammy lordbut as my betters are
That led me hither. Had they been rul'd by me
You should have won them dearer than you have.
FALSTAFF. I know not how they sold themselves; but thoulike a
kind fellowgavest thyself away gratis; and I thank thee for
thee.
Re-enter WESTMORELAND
PRINCE JOHN. Nowhave you left pursuit?
WESTMORELAND. Retreat is madeand execution stay'd.
PRINCE JOHN. Send Colvillewith his confederates
To Yorkto present execution.
Bluntlead him hence; and see you guard him sure.
Exeunt BLUNT and others
And now dispatch we toward the courtmy lords.
I hear the King my father is sore sick.
Our news shall go before us to his Majesty
Whichcousinyou shall bear to comfort him
And we with sober speed will follow you.
FALSTAFF. My lordI beseech yougive me leave to go through
Gloucestershire; andwhen you come to courtstand my good
lord
prayin your good report.
PRINCE JOHN. Fare you wellFalstaff. Iin my condition
Shall better speak of you than you deserve.
Exeunt all but FALSTAFF
FALSTAFF. I would you had but the wit; 'twere better than your
dukedom. Good faiththis same young sober-blooded boy doth
not
love me; nor a man cannot make him laugh--but that's no
marvel;
he drinks no wine. There's never none of these demure boys
come
to any proof; for thin drink doth so over-cool their blood
and
making many fish-mealsthat they fall into a kind of male
green-sickness; and thenwhen they marrythey get wenches.
They
are generally fools and cowards-which some of us should be
too
but for inflammation. A good sherris-sack hath a two-fold
operation in it. It ascends me into the brain; dries me there
all
the foolish and dull and crudy vapours which environ it;
makes it
apprehensivequickforgetivefull of nimblefieryand
delectable shapes; which delivered o'er to the voicethe
tongue
which is the birthbecomes excellent wit. The second
property of
your excellent sherris is the warming of the blood; which
before
cold and settledleft the liver white and palewhich is the
badge of pusillanimity and cowardice; but the sherris warms
it
and makes it course from the inwards to the parts extremes.
It
illumineth the facewhichas a beacongives warning to all
the
rest of this little kingdommanto arm; and then the vital
commoners and inland petty spirits muster me all to their
captainthe heartwhogreat and puff'd up with this
retinue
doth any deed of courage--and this valour comes of sherris.
So
that skill in the weapon is nothing without sackfor that
sets
it a-work; and learninga mere hoard of gold kept by a devil
till sack commences it and sets it in act and use. Hereof
comes
it that Prince Harry is valiant; for the cold blood he did
naturally inherit of his fatherhe hathlike leansterile
and
bare landmanuredhusbandedand till'dwith excellent
endeavour of drinking good and good store of fertile sherris
that he is become very hot and valiant. If I had a thousand
sons
the first humane principle I would teach them should be to
forswear thin potations and to addict themselves to sack.
Enter BARDOLPH
How nowBardolph!
BARDOLPH. The army is discharged all and gone.
FALSTAFF. Let them go. I'll through Gloucestershireand there
will
I visit Master Robert ShallowEsquire. I have him already
temp'ring between my finger and my thumband shortly will I
seal
with him. Come away. Exeunt
SCENE IV.
Westminster. The Jerusalem Chamber
Enter the KINGPRINCE THOMAS OF CLARENCEPRINCE HUMPHREY OF
GLOUCESTER
WARWICKand others
KING. Nowlordsif God doth give successful end
To this debate that bleedeth at our doors
We will our youth lead on to higher fields
And draw no swords but what are sanctified.
Our navy is address'dour power connected
Our substitutes in absence well invested
And everything lies level to our wish.
Only we want a little personal strength;
And pause us till these rebelsnow afoot
Come underneath the yoke of government.
WARWICK. Both which we doubt not but your Majesty
Shall soon enjoy.
KING. Humphreymy son of Gloucester
Where is the Prince your brother?
PRINCE HUMPHREY. I think he's gone to huntmy lordat
Windsor.
KING. And how accompanied?
PRINCE HUMPHREY. I do not knowmy lord.
KING. Is not his brotherThomas of Clarencewith him?
PRINCE HUMPHREY. Nomy good lordhe is in presence here.
CLARENCE. What would my lord and father?
KING. Nothing but well to theeThomas of Clarence.
How chance thou art not with the Prince thy brother?
He loves theeand thou dost neglect himThomas.
Thou hast a better place in his affection
Than all thy brothers; cherish itmy boy
And noble offices thou mayst effect
Of mediationafter I am dead
Between his greatness and thy other brethren.
Therefore omit him not; blunt not his love
Nor lose the good advantage of his grace
By seeming cold or careless of his will;
For he is gracious if he be observ'd.
He hath a tear for pity and a hand
Open as day for melting charity;
Yet notwithstandingbeing incens'dhe is flint;
As humorous as winterand as sudden
As flaws congealed in the spring of day.
His temperthereforemust be well observ'd.
Chide him for faultsand do it reverently
When you perceive his blood inclin'd to mirth;
Butbeing moodygive him line and scope
Till that his passionslike a whale on ground
Confound themselves with working. Learn thisThomas
And thou shalt prove a shelter to thy friends
A hoop of gold to bind thy brothers in
That the united vessel of their blood
Mingled with venom of suggestion--
Asforce perforcethe age will pour it in--
Shall never leakthough it do work as strong
As aconitum or rash gunpowder.
CLARENCE. I shall observe him with all care and love.
KING. Why art thou not at Windsor with himThomas?
CLARENCE. He is not there to-day; he dines in London.
KING. And how accompanied? Canst thou tell that?
CLARENCE. With Poinsand other his continual followers.
KING. Most subject is the fattest soil to weeds;
And hethe noble image of my youth
Is overspread with them; therefore my grief
Stretches itself beyond the hour of death.
The blood weeps from my heart when I do shape
In forms imaginaryth'unguided days
And rotten times that you shall look upon
When I am sleeping with my ancestors.
For when his headstrong riot hath no curb
When rage and hot blood are his counsellors
When means and lavish manners meet together
Owith what wings shall his affections fly
Towards fronting peril and oppos'd decay!
WARWICK. My gracious lordyou look beyond him quite.
The Prince but studies his companions
Like a strange tonguewhereinto gain the language
'Tis needful that the most immodest word
Be look'd upon and learnt; which once attain'd
Your Highness knowscomes to no further use
But to be known and hated. Solike gross terms
The Prince willin the perfectness of time
Cast off his followers; and their memory
Shall as a pattern or a measure live
By which his Grace must mete the lives of other
Turning past evils to advantages.
KING. 'Tis seldom when the bee doth leave her comb
In the dead carrion.
Enter WESTMORELAND
Who's here? Westmoreland?
WESTMORELAND. Health to my sovereignand new happiness
Added to that that am to deliver!
Prince Johnyour sondoth kiss your Grace's hand.
Mowbraythe Bishop ScroopHastingsand all
Are brought to the correction of your law.
There is not now a rebel's sword unsheath'd
But Peace puts forth her olive everywhere.
The manner how this action hath been borne
Here at more leisure may your Highness read
With every course in his particular.
KING. O Westmorelandthou art a summer bird
Which ever in the haunch of winter sings
The lifting up of day.
Enter HARCOURT
Look here's more news.
HARCOURT. From enemies heaven keep your Majesty;
Andwhen they stand against youmay they fall
As those that I am come to tell you of!
The Earl Northumberland and the Lord Bardolph
With a great power of English and of Scots
Are by the shrieve of Yorkshire overthrown.
The manner and true order of the fight
This packetplease it youcontains at large.
KING. And wherefore should these good news make me sick?
Will Fortune never come with both hands full
But write her fair words still in foulest letters?
She either gives a stomach and no food-
Such are the poorin health--or else a feast
And takes away the stomach--such are the rich
That have abundance and enjoy it not.
I should rejoice now at this happy news;
And now my sight failsand my brain is giddy.
O me! come near me now I am much ill.
PRINCE HUMPHREY. Comfortyour Majesty!
CLARENCE. O my royal father!
WESTMORELAND. My sovereign lordcheer up yourselflook up.
WARWICK. Be patientPrinces; you do know these fits
Are with his Highness very ordinary.
Stand from himgive him air; he'll straight be well.
CLARENCE. Nono; he cannot long hold out these pangs.
Th' incessant care and labour of his mind
Hath wrought the mure that should confine it in
So thin that life looks throughand will break out.
PRINCE HUMPHREY. The people fear me; for they do observe
Unfather'd heirs and loathly births of nature.
The seasons change their mannersas the year
Had found some months asleepand leapt them over.
CLARENCE. The river hath thrice flow'dno ebb between;
And the old folkTime's doting chronicles
Say it did so a little time before
That our great grandsireEdwardsick'd and died.
WARWICK. Speak lowerPrincesfor the King recovers.
PRINCE HUMPHREY. This apoplexy will certain be his end.
KING. I pray you take me upand bear me hence
Into some other chamber. Softlypray. Exeunt
SCENE V.
Westminster. Another chamber
The KING lying on a bed; CLARENCEGLOUCESTERWARWICK
and others in attendance
KING. Let there be no noise mademy gentle friends;
Unless some dull and favourable hand
Will whisper music to my weary spirit.
WARWICK. Call for the music in the other room.
KING. Set me the crown upon my pillow here.
CLARENCE. His eye is hollowand he changes much.
WARWICK. Less noise! less noise!
Enter PRINCE HENRY
PRINCE. Who saw the Duke of Clarence?
CLARENCE. I am herebrotherfull of heaviness.
PRINCE. How now! Rain within doorsand none abroad!
How doth the King?
PRINCE HUMPHREY. Exceeding ill.
PRINCE. Heard he the good news yet? Tell it him.
PRINCE HUMPHREY. He alt'red much upon the hearing it.
PRINCE. If he be sick with joyhe'll recover without physic.
WARWICK. Not so much noisemy lords. Sweet Princespeak low;
The King your father is dispos'd to sleep.
CLARENCE. Let us withdraw into the other room.
WARWICK. Will't please your Grace to go along with us?
PRINCE. No; I will sit and watch here by the King.
Exeunt all but the PRINCE
Why doth the crown lie there upon his pillow
Being so troublesome a bedfellow?
O polish'd perturbation! golden care!
That keep'st the ports of slumber open wide
To many a watchful night! Sleep with it now!
Yet not so sound and half so deeply sweet
As he whose brow with homely biggen bound
Snores out the watch of night. O majesty!
When thou dost pinch thy bearerthou dost sit
Like a rich armour worn in heat of day
That scald'st with safety. By his gates of breath
There lies a downy feather which stirs not.
Did he suspirethat light and weightless down
Perforce must move. My gracious lord! my father!
This sleep is sound indeed; this is a sleep
That from this golden rigol hath divorc'd
So many English kings. Thy due from me
Is tears and heavy sorrows of the blood
Which natureloveand filial tenderness
ShallO dear fatherpay thee plenteously.
My due from thee is this imperial crown
Whichas immediate from thy place and blood
Derives itself to me. [Putting on the crown] Lo where it
sits
Which God shall guard; and put the world's whole strength
Into one giant armit shall not force
This lineal honour from me. This from thee
Will I to mine leave as 'tis left to me. Exit
KING. Warwick! Gloucester! Clarence!
Re-enter WARWICKGLOUCESTERCLARENCE
CLARENCE. Doth the King call?
WARWICK. What would your Majesty? How fares your Grace?
KING. Why did you leave me here alonemy lords?
CLARENCE. We left the Prince my brother heremy liege
Who undertook to sit and watch by you.
KING. The Prince of Wales! Where is he? Let me see him.
He is not here.
WARWICK. This door is open; he is gone this way.
PRINCE HUMPHREY. He came not through the chamber where we
stay'd.
KING. Where is the crown? Who took it from my pillow?
WARWICK. When we withdrewmy liegewe left it here.
KING. The Prince hath ta'en it hence. Goseek him out.
Is he so hasty that he doth suppose
My sleep my death?
Find himmy lord of Warwick; chide him hither.
Exit WARWICK
This part of his conjoins with my disease
And helps to end me. Seesonswhat things you are!
How quickly nature falls into revolt
When gold becomes her object!
For this the foolish over-careful fathers
Have broke their sleep with thoughts
Their brains with caretheir bones with industry;
For this they have engrossed and pil'd up
The cank'red heaps of strange-achieved gold;
For this they have been thoughtful to invest
Their sons with arts and martial exercises;
Whenlike the beetolling from every flower
The virtuous sweets
Our thighs with waxour mouths with honey pack'd
We bring it to the hiveandlike the bees
Are murd'red for our pains. This bitter taste
Yields his engrossments to the ending father.
Re-enter WARWICK
Now where is he that will not stay so long
Till his friend sickness hath determin'd me?
WARWICK. My lordI found the Prince in the next room
Washing with kindly tears his gentle cheeks
With such a deep demeanour in great sorrow
That tyrannywhich never quaff'd but blood
Wouldby beholding himhave wash'd his knife
With gentle eye-drops. He is coming hither.
KING. But wherefore did he take away the crown?
Re-enter PRINCE HENRY
Lo where he comes. Come hither to meHarry.
Depart the chamberleave us here alone.
Exeunt all but the KING and the PRINCE
PRINCE. I never thought to hear you speak again.
KING. Thy wish was fatherHarryto that thought.
I stay too long by theeI weary thee.
Dost thou so hunger for mine empty chair
That thou wilt needs invest thee with my honours
Before thy hour be ripe? O foolish youth!
Thou seek'st the greatness that will overwhelm thee.
Stay but a littlefor my cloud of dignity
Is held from falling with so weak a wind
That it will quickly drop; my day is dim.
Thou hast stol'n that whichafter some few hours
Were thine without offense; and at my death
Thou hast seal'd up my expectation.
Thy life did manifest thou lov'dst me not
And thou wilt have me die assur'd of it.
Thou hid'st a thousand daggers in thy thoughts
Which thou hast whetted on thy stony heart
To stab at half an hour of my life.
Whatcanst thou not forbear me half an hour?
Then get thee goneand dig my grave thyself;
And bid the merry bells ring to thine ear
That thou art crownednot that I am dead.
Let all the tears that should bedew my hearse
Be drops of balm to sanctify thy head;
Only compound me with forgotten dust;
Give that which gave thee life unto the worms.
Pluck down my officersbreak my decrees;
For now a time is come to mock at form-
Harry the Fifth is crown'd. Upvanity:
Downroyal state. All you sage counsellorshence.
And to the English court assemble now
From every regionapes of idleness.
Nowneighbour confinespurge you of your scum.
Have you a ruffian that will sweardrinkdance
Revel the nightrobmurderand commit
The oldest sins the newest kind of ways?
Be happyhe will trouble you no more.
England shall double gild his treble guilt;
England shall give him officehonourmight;
For the fifth Harry from curb'd license plucks
The muzzle of restraintand the wild dog
Shall flesh his tooth on every innocent.
O my poor kingdomsick with civil blows!
When that my care could not withhold thy riots
What wilt thou do when riot is thy care?
Othou wilt be a wilderness again.
Peopled with wolvesthy old inhabitants!
PRINCE. Opardon memy liege! But for my tears
The moist impediments unto my speech
I had forestall'd this dear and deep rebuke
Ere you with grief had spoke and I had heard
The course of it so far. There is your crown
And he that wears the crown immortally
Long guard it yours! [Kneeling] If I affect it more
Than as your honour and as your renown
Let me no more from this obedience rise
Which my most inward true and duteous spirit
Teacheth this prostrate and exterior bending!
God witness with mewhen I here came in
And found no course of breath within your Majesty
How cold it struck my heart! If I do feign
Olet me in my present wildness die
And never live to show th' incredulous world
The noble change that I have purposed!
Coming to look on youthinking you deadAnd
dead almostmy liegeto think you wereI
spake unto this crown as having sense
And thus upbraided it: 'The care on thee depending
Hath fed upon the body of my father;
Therefore thou best of gold art worst of gold.
Otherless fine in caratis more precious
Preserving life in med'cine potable;
But thoumost finemost honour'dmost renown'd
Hast eat thy bearer up.' Thusmy most royal liege
Accusing itI put it on my head
To try with it--as with an enemy
That had before my face murd'red my father-The
quarrel of a true inheritor.
But if it did infect my blood with joy
Or swell my thoughts to any strain of pride;
If any rebel or vain spirit of mine
Did with the least affection of a welcome
Give entertainment to the might of it
Let God for ever keep it from my head
And make me as the poorest vassal is
That doth with awe and terror kneel to it!
KING. O my son
God put it in thy mind to take it hence
That thou mightst win the more thy father's love
Pleading so wisely in excuse of it!
Come hitherHarry; sit thou by my bed
And hearI thinkthe very latest counsel
That ever I shall breathe. God knowsmy son
By what by-paths and indirect crook'd ways
I met this crown; and I myself know well
How troublesome it sat upon my head:
To thee it shall descend with better quiet
Better opinionbetter confirmation;
For all the soil of the achievement goes
With me into the earth. It seem'd in me
But as an honour snatch'd with boist'rous hand;
And I had many living to upbraid
My gain of it by their assistances;
Which daily grew to quarrel and to bloodshed
Wounding supposed peace. All these bold fears
Thou seest with peril I have answered;
For all my reign hath been but as a scene
Acting that argument. And now my death
Changes the mood; for what in me was purchas'd
Falls upon thee in a more fairer sort;
So thou the garland wear'st successively.
Yetthough thou stand'st more sure than I could do
Thou art not firm enoughsince griefs are green;
And all my friendswhich thou must make thy friends
Have but their stings and teeth newly ta'en out;
By whose fell working I was first advanc'd
And by whose power I well might lodge a fear
To be again displac'd; which to avoid
I cut them off; and had a purpose now
To lead out many to the Holy Land
Lest rest and lying still might make them look
Too near unto my state. Thereforemy Harry
Be it thy course to busy giddy minds
With foreign quarrelsthat actionhence borne out
May waste the memory of the former days.
More would Ibut my lungs are wasted so
That strength of speech is utterly denied me.
How I came by the crownO Godforgive;
And grant it may with thee in true peace live!
PRINCE. My gracious liege
You won itwore itkept itgave it me;
Then plain and right must my possession be;
Which I with more than with a common pain
'Gainst all the world will rightfully maintain.
Enter PRINCE JOHN OF LANCASTERWARWICKLORDSand others
KING. Looklookhere comes my John of Lancaster.
PRINCE JOHN. Healthpeaceand happinessto my royal father!
KING. Thou bring'st me happiness and peaceson John;
But healthalackwith youthful wings is flown
From this bare wither'd trunk. Upon thy sight
My worldly business makes a period.
Where is my Lord of Warwick?
PRINCE. My Lord of Warwick!
KING. Doth any name particular belong
Unto the lodging where I first did swoon?
WARWICK. 'Tis call'd Jerusalemmy noble lord.
KING. Laud be to God! Even there my life must end.
It hath been prophesied to me many years
I should not die but in Jerusalem;
Which vainly I suppos'd the Holy Land.
But bear me to that chamber; there I'll lie;
In that Jerusalem shall Harry die. Exeunt
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ACT V. SCENE I.
Gloucestershire. SHALLOW'S house
Enter SHALLOWFALSTAFFBARDOLPHand PAGE
SHALLOW. By cock and piesiryou shall not away to-night.
WhatDavyI say!
FALSTAFF. You must excuse meMaster Robert Shallow.
SHALLOW. I will not excuse you; you shall not be excus'd;
excuses
shall not be admitted; there is no excuse shall serve; you
shall
not be excus'd. WhyDavy!
Enter DAVY
DAVY. Heresir.
SHALLOW. DavyDavyDavyDavy; let me seeDavy; let me see
Davy; let me see--yeamarryWilliam cookbid him come
hither.
Sir Johnyou shall not be excus'd.
DAVY. Marrysirthus: those precepts cannot be served; and
againsir--shall we sow the headland with wheat?
SHALLOW. With red wheatDavy. But for William cook--are there
no
young pigeons?
DAVY. Yessir. Here is now the smith's note for shoeing and
plough-irons.
SHALLOW. Let it be castand paid. Sir Johnyou shall not be
excused.
DAVY. Nowsira new link to the bucket must needs be had;
and
sirdo you mean to stop any of William's wages about the
sack he
lost the other day at Hinckley fair?
SHALLOW. 'A shall answer it. Some pigeonsDavya couple of
short-legg'd hensa joint of muttonand any pretty little
tiny
kickshawstell William cook.
DAVY. Doth the man of war stay all nightsir?
SHALLOW. YeaDavy; I will use him well. A friend i' th' court
is
better than a penny in purse. Use his men wellDavy; for
they
are arrant knaves and will backbite.
DAVY. No worse than they are backbittensir; for they have
marvellous foul linen.
SHALLOW. Well conceitedDavy--about thy businessDavy.
DAVY. I beseech yousirto countenance William Visor of
Woncot
against Clement Perkes o' th' hill.
SHALLOW. Thereis many complaintsDavyagainst that Visor.
That
Visor is an arrant knaveon my knowledge.
DAVY. I grant your worship that he is a knavesir; but yet God
forbidsirbut a knave should have some countenance at his
friend's request. An honest mansiris able to speak for
himselfwhen a knave is not. I have serv'd your worship
truly
sirthis eight years; an I cannot once or twice in a quarter
bear out a knave against an honest manI have but a very
little
credit with your worship. The knave is mine honest friend
sir;
thereforeI beseech youlet him be countenanc'd.
SHALLOW. Go to; I say he shall have no wrong. Look about
DAVY. [Exit DAVY] Where are youSir John? Comecomecome
off
with your boots. Give me your handMaster Bardolph.
BARDOLPH. I am glad to see your worship.
SHALLOW. I thank thee with all my heartkind Master Bardolph.
[To the PAGE] And welcomemy tall fellow. ComeSir John.
FALSTAFF. I'll follow yougood Master Robert Shallow.
[Exit SHALLOW] Bardolphlook to our horses. [Exeunt
BARDOLPH
and PAGE] If I were sawed into quantitiesI should make
four
dozen of such bearded hermits' staves as Master Shallow. It
is a
wonderful thing to see the semblable coherence of his men's
spirits and his. Theyby observing of himdo bear
themselves
like foolish justices: heby conversing with themis turned
into a justice-like serving-man. Their spirits are so married
in
conjunction with the participation of society that they flock
together in consentlike so many wild geese. If I had a suit
to
Master ShallowI would humour his men with the imputation of
being near their master; if to his menI would curry with
Master
Shallow that no man could better command his servants. It is
certain that either wise bearing or ignorant carriage is
caught
as men take diseasesone of another; therefore let men take
heed
of their company. I will devise matter enough out of this
Shallow
to keep Prince Harry in continual laughter the wearing out of
six
fashionswhich is four termsor two actions; and 'a shall
laugh
without intervallums. Oit is much that a lie with a slight
oathand a jest with a sad brow will do with a fellow that
never
had the ache in his shoulders! Oyou shall see him laugh
till
his face be like a wet cloak ill laid up!
SHALLOW. [Within] Sir John!
FALSTAFF. I comeMaster Shallow; I comeMaster Shallow.
Exit
SCENE II.
Westminster. The palace
EnterseverallyWARWICKand the LORD CHIEF JUSTICE
WARWICK. How nowmy Lord Chief Justice; whither away?
CHIEF JUSTICE. How doth the King?
WARWICK. Exceeding well; his cares are now all ended.
CHIEF JUSTICE. I hopenot dead.
WARWICK. He's walk'd the way of nature;
And to our purposes he lives no more.
CHIEF JUSTICE. I would his Majesty had call'd me with him.
The service that I truly did his life
Hath left me open to all injuries.
WARWICK. IndeedI think the young king loves you not.
CHIEF JUSTICE. I know he doth notand do arm myself
To welcome the condition of the time
Which cannot look more hideously upon me
Than I have drawn it in my fantasy.
Enter LANCASTERCLARENCEGLOUCESTER
WESTMORELANDand others
WARWICK. Here comes the heavy issue of dead Harry.
O that the living Harry had the temper
Of hethe worst of these three gentlemen!
How many nobles then should hold their places
That must strike sail to spirits of vile sort!
CHIEF JUSTICE. O GodI fear all will be overturn'd.
PRINCE JOHN. Good morrowcousin Warwickgood morrow.
GLOUCESTER & CLARENCE. Good morrowcousin.
PRINCE JOHN. We meet like men that had forgot to speak.
WARWICK. We do remember; but our argument
Is all too heavy to admit much talk.
PRINCE JOHN. Wellpeace be with him that hath made us heavy!
CHIEF JUSTICE. Peace be with uslest we be heavier!
PRINCE HUMPHREY. Ogood my lordyou have lost a friend
indeed;
And I dare swear you borrow not that face
Of seeming sorrow--it is sure your own.
PRINCE JOHN. Though no man be assur'd what grace to find
You stand in coldest expectation.
I am the sorrier; would 'twere otherwise.
CLARENCE. Wellyou must now speak Sir John Falstaff fair;
Which swims against your stream of quality.
CHIEF JUSTICE. Sweet Princeswhat I didI did in honour
Led by th' impartial conduct of my soul;
And never shall you see that I will beg
A ragged and forestall'd remission.
If truth and upright innocency fail me
I'll to the King my master that is dead
And tell him who hath sent me after him.
WARWICK. Here comes the Prince.
Enter KING HENRY THE FIFTHattended
CHIEF JUSTICE. Good morrowand God save your Majesty!
KING. This new and gorgeous garmentmajesty
Sits not so easy on me as you think.
Brothersyou mix your sadness with some fear.
This is the Englishnot the Turkish court;
Not Amurath an Amurath succeeds
But Harry Harry. Yet be sadgood brothers
Forby my faithit very well becomes you.
Sorrow so royally in you appears
That I will deeply put the fashion on
And wear it in my heart. Whythenbe sad;
But entertain no more of itgood brothers
Than a joint burden laid upon us all.
For meby heavenI bid you be assur'd
I'll be your father and your brother too;
Let me but bear your loveI'll bear your cares.
Yet weep that Harry's deadand so will I;
But Harry lives that shall convert those tears
By number into hours of happiness.
BROTHERS. We hope no otherwise from your Majesty.
KING. You all look strangely on me; and you most.
You areI thinkassur'd I love you not.
CHIEF JUSTICE. I am assur'dif I be measur'd rightly
Your Majesty hath no just cause to hate me.
KING. No?
How might a prince of my great hopes forget
So great indignities you laid upon me?
Whatraterebukeand roughly send to prison
Th' immediate heir of England! Was this easy?
May this be wash'd in Lethe and forgotten?
CHIEF JUSTICE. I then did use the person of your father;
The image of his power lay then in me;
And in th' administration of his law
Whiles I was busy for the commonwealth
Your Highness pleased to forget my place
The majesty and power of law and justice
The image of the King whom I presented
And struck me in my very seat of judgment;
Whereonas an offender to your father
I gave bold way to my authority
And did commit you. If the deed were ill
Be you contentedwearing now the garland
To have a son set your decrees at nought
To pluck down justice from your awful bench
To trip the course of lawand blunt the sword
That guards the peace and safety of your person;
Naymoreto spurn at your most royal image
And mock your workings in a second body.
Question your royal thoughtsmake the case yours;
Be now the fatherand propose a son;
Hear your own dignity so much profan'd
See your most dreadful laws so loosely slighted
Behold yourself so by a son disdain'd;
And then imagine me taking your part
Andin your powersoft silencing your son.
After this cold considerancesentence me;
Andas you are a kingspeak in your state
What I have done that misbecame my place
My personor my liege's sovereignty.
KING. You are rightJusticeand you weigh this well;
Therefore still bear the balance and the sword;
And I do wish your honours may increase
Till you do live to see a son of mine
Offend youand obey youas I did.
So shall I live to speak my father's words:
'Happy am I that have a man so bold
That dares do justice on my proper son;
And not less happyhaving such a son
That would deliver up his greatness so
Into the hands of justice.' You did commit me;
For which I do commit into your hand
Th' unstained sword that you have us'd to bear;
With this remembrance--that you use the same
With the like boldjustand impartial spirit
As you have done 'gainst me. There is my hand.
You shall be as a father to my youth;
My voice shall sound as you do prompt mine ear;
And I will stoop and humble my intents
To your well-practis'd wise directions.
AndPrinces allbelieve meI beseech you
My father is gone wild into his grave
For in his tomb lie my affections;
And with his spirits sadly I survive
To mock the expectation of the world
To frustrate propheciesand to raze out
Rotten opinionwho hath writ me down
After my seeming. The tide of blood in me
Hath proudly flow'd in vanity till now.
Now doth it turn and ebb back to the sea
Where it shall mingle with the state of floods
And flow henceforth in formal majesty.
Now call we our high court of parliament;
And let us choose such limbs of noble counsel
That the great body of our state may go
In equal rank with the best govern'd nation;
That waror peaceor both at oncemay be
As things acquainted and familiar to us;
In which youfathershall have foremost hand.
Our coronation donewe will accite
As I before rememb'redall our state;
And--God consigning to my good intents
No prince nor peer shall have just cause to say
God shorten Harry's happy life one day. Exeunt
SCENE III.
Gloucestershire. SHALLOW'S orchard
Enter FALSTAFFSHALLOWSILENCEBARDOLPHthe PAGEand DAVY
SHALLOW. Nayyou shall see my orchardwherein an arbourwe
will eat a last year's pippin of mine own graffingwith a
dish
of carawaysand so forth. Comecousin Silence. And then to
bed.
FALSTAFF. Fore Godyou have here a goodly dwelling and rich.
SHALLOW. Barrenbarrenbarren; beggars allbeggars allSir
John
-marrygood air. SpreadDavyspreadDavy; well said
Davy.
FALSTAFF. This Davy serves you for good uses; he is your
serving-man and your husband.
SHALLOW. A good varleta good varleta very good varletSir
John. By the massI have drunk too much sack at supper. A
good
varlet. Now sit downnow sit down; comecousin.
SILENCE. Ahsirrah! quoth-a--we shall [Singing]
Do nothing but eat and make good cheer
And praise God for the merry year;
When flesh is cheap and females dear
And lusty lads roam here and there
So merrily
And ever among so merrily.
FALSTAFF. There's a merry heart! Good Master SilenceI'll give
you
a health for that anon.
SHALLOW. Give Master Bardolph some wineDavy.
DAVY. Sweet sirsit; I'll be with you anon; most sweet sir
sit.
Master Pagegood Master Pagesit. Proface! What you want in
meatwe'll have in drink. But you must bear; the heart's
all.
Exit
SHALLOW. Be merryMaster Bardolph; andmy little soldier
there
be merry.
SILENCE. [Singing]
Be merrybe merrymy wife has all;
For women are shrewsboth short and tall;
'Tis merry in hall when beards wag an;
And welcome merry Shrove-tide.
Be merrybe merry.
FALSTAFF. I did not think Master Silence had been a man of this
mettle.
SILENCE. WhoI? I have been merry twice and once ere now.
Re-enter DAVY
DAVY. [To BARDOLPH] There's a dish of leather-coats for you.
SHALLOW. Davy!
DAVY. Your worship! I'll be with you straight. [To BARDOLPH]
A cup of winesir?
SILENCE. [Singing]
A cup of wine that's brisk and fine
And drink unto the leman mine;
And a merry heart lives long-a.
FALSTAFF. Well saidMaster Silence.
SILENCE. An we shall be merrynow comes in the sweet o' th'
night.
FALSTAFF. Health and long life to youMaster Silence!
SILENCE. [Singing]
Fill the cupand let it come
I'll pledge you a mile to th' bottom.
SHALLOW. Honest Bardolphwelcome; if thou want'st anything and
wilt not callbeshrew thy heart. Welcomemy little tiny
thief
and welcome indeed too. I'll drink to Master Bardolphand to
all
the cabileros about London.
DAVY. I hope to see London once ere I die.
BARDOLPH. An I might see you thereDavy!
SHALLOW. By the massyou'll crack a quart together--ha! will
you
notMaster Bardolph?
BARDOLPH. Yeasirin a pottle-pot.
SHALLOW. By God's liggensI thank thee. The knave will stick
by
theeI can assure thee that. 'A will not out'a; 'tis true
bred.
BARDOLPH. And I'll stick by himsir.
SHALLOW. Whythere spoke a king. Lack nothing; be merry.
[One knocks at door] Look who's at door thereho! Who
knocks?
Exit DAVY
FALSTAFF. [To SILENCEwho has drunk a bumper] Whynow you
have
done me right.
SILENCE. [Singing]
Do me right
And dub me knight.
Samingo.
Is't not so?
FALSTAFF. 'Tis so.
SILENCE. Is't so? Why thensay an old man can do somewhat.
Re-enter DAVY
DAVY. An't please your worshipthere's one Pistol come from
the
court with news.
FALSTAFF. From the court? Let him come in.
Enter PISTOL
How nowPistol?
PISTOL. Sir JohnGod save you!
FALSTAFF. What wind blew you hitherPistol?
PISTOL. Not the ill wind which blows no man to good. Sweet
knight
thou art now one of the greatest men in this realm.
SILENCE. By'r ladyI think 'a bebut goodman Puff of Barson.
PISTOL. Puff!
Puff in thy teethmost recreant coward base!
Sir JohnI am thy Pistol and thy friend
And helter-skelter have I rode to thee;
And tidings do I bringand lucky joys
And golden timesand happy news of price.
FALSTAFF. I pray thee nowdeliver them like a man of this
world.
PISTOL. A foutra for the world and worldlings base!
I speak of Africa and golden joys.
FALSTAFF. O base Assyrian knightwhat is thy news?
Let King Cophetua know the truth thereof.
SILENCE. [Singing] And Robin HoodScarletand John.
PISTOL. Shall dunghill curs confront the Helicons?
And shall good news be baffled?
ThenPistollay thy head in Furies' lap.
SHALLOW. Honest gentlemanI know not your breeding.
PISTOL. Whythenlament therefore.
SHALLOW. Give me pardonsir. Ifsiryou come with news from
the
courtI take it there's but two ways--either to utter them
or
conceal them. I amsirunder the Kingin some authority.
PISTOL. Under which kingBezonian? Speakor die.
SHALLOW. Under King Harry.
PISTOL. Harry the Fourth--or Fifth?
SHALLOW. Harry the Fourth.
PISTOL. A foutra for thine office!
Sir Johnthy tender lambkin now is King;
Harry the Fifth's the man. I speak the truth.
When Pistol liesdo this; and fig melike
The bragging Spaniard.
FALSTAFF. Whatis the old king dead?
PISTOL. As nail in door. The things I speak are just.
FALSTAFF. AwayBardolph! saddle my horse. Master Robert
Shallow
choose what office thou wilt in the land'tis thine. Pistol
will double-charge thee with dignities.
BARDOLPH. O joyful day!
I would not take a knighthood for my fortune.
PISTOL. WhatI do bring good news?
FALSTAFF. Carry Master Silence to bed. Master Shallowmy Lord
Shallowbe what thou wilt--I am Fortune's steward. Get on
thy
boots; we'll ride all night. O sweet Pistol! AwayBardolph!
[Exit BARDOLPH] ComePistolutter more to me; and withal
devise something to do thyself good. BootbootMaster
Shallow!
I know the young King is sick for me. Let us take any man's
horses: the laws of England are at my commandment. Blessed
are
they that have been my friends; and woe to my Lord Chief
Justice!
PISTOL. Let vultures vile seize on his lungs also!
'Where is the life that late I led?' say they.
Whyhere it is; welcome these pleasant days! Exeunt
SCENE IV.
London. A street
Enter BEADLESdragging in HOSTESS QUICKLY and DOLL TEARSHEET
HOSTESS. Nothou arrant knave; I would to God that I might
die
that I might have thee hang'd. Thou hast drawn my shoulder
out of
joint.
FIRST BEADLE. The constables have delivered her over to me; and
she
shall have whipping-cheer enoughI warrant her. There hath
been
a man or two lately kill'd about her.
DOLL. Nut-hooknut-hookyou lie. Come on; I'll tell thee
what
thou damn'd tripe-visag'd rascalan the child I now go with
do
miscarrythou wert better thou hadst struck thy motherthou
paper-fac'd villain.
HOSTESS. O the Lordthat Sir John were come! He would make
this a
bloody day to somebody. But I pray God the fruit of her womb
miscarry!
FIRST BEADLE. If it doyou shall have a dozen of cushions
again;
you have but eleven now. ComeI charge you both go with me;
for
the man is dead that you and Pistol beat amongst you.
DOLL. I'll tell you whatyou thin man in a censerI will have
you
as soundly swing'd for this--you blue-bottle rogueyou
filthy
famish'd correctionerif you be not swing'dI'll forswear
half-kirtles.
FIRST BEADLE. Comecomeyou she knight-errantcome.
HOSTESS. O Godthat right should thus overcome might!
Wellof sufferance comes ease.
DOLL. Comeyou roguecome; bring me to a justice.
HOSTESS. Aycomeyou starv'd bloodhound.
DOLL. Goodman deathgoodman bones!
HOSTESS. Thou atomythou!
DOLL. Comeyou thin thing! comeyou rascal!
FIRST BEADLE. Very well. Exeunt
SCENE V.
Westminster. Near the Abbey
Enter GROOMSstrewing rushes
FIRST GROOM. More rushesmore rushes!
SECOND GROOM. The trumpets have sounded twice.
THIRD GROOM. 'Twill be two o'clock ere they come from the
coronation. Dispatchdispatch. Exeunt
Trumpets soundand the KING and his train pass
over the stage. After them enter FALSTAFFSHALLOW
PISTOLBARDOLPHand page
FALSTAFF. Stand here by meMaster Robert Shallow; I will make
the
King do you grace. I will leer upon himas 'a comes by; and
do
but mark the countenance that he will give me.
PISTOL. God bless thy lungsgood knight!
FALSTAFF. Come herePistol; stand behind me. [To SHALLOW] O
if
I had had to have made new liveriesI would have bestowed
the
thousand pound I borrowed of you. But 'tis no matter; this
poor
show doth better; this doth infer the zeal I had to see him.
SHALLOW. It doth so.
FALSTAFF. It shows my earnestness of affection
SHALLOW. It doth so.
FALSTAFF. My devotion-
SHALLOW. It dothit dothit doth.
FALSTAFF. As it wereto ride day and night; and not to
deliberate
not to remembernot to have patience to shift me-
SHALLOW. It is bestcertain.
FALSTAFF. But to stand stained with traveland sweating with
desire to see him; thinking of nothing elseputting all
affairs
else in oblivionas if there were nothing else to be done
but to
see him.
PISTOL. 'Tis 'semper idem' for 'obsque hoc nihil est.' 'Tis all
in
every part.
SHALLOW. 'Tis soindeed.
PISTOL. My knightI will inflame thy noble liver
And make thee rage.
Thy Dolland Helen of thy noble thoughts
Is in base durance and contagious prison;
Hal'd thither
By most mechanical and dirty hand.
Rouse up revenge from ebon den with fell Alecto's snake
For Doll is in. Pistol speaks nought but truth.
FALSTAFF. I will deliver her.
[Shoutswithinand the trumpets sound]
PISTOL. There roar'd the seaand trumpet-clangor sounds.
Enter the KING and his trainthe LORD CHIEF JUSTICE
among them
FALSTAFF. God save thy GraceKing Hal; my royal Hal!
PISTOL. The heavens thee guard and keepmost royal imp of
fame!
FALSTAFF. God save theemy sweet boy!
KING. My Lord Chief Justicespeak to that vain man.
CHIEF JUSTICE. Have you your wits? Know you what 'tis you
speak?
FALSTAFF. My king! my Jove! I speak to theemy heart!
KING. I know thee notold man. Fall to thy prayers.
How ill white hairs become a fool and jester!
I have long dreamt of such a kind of man
So surfeit-swell'dso oldand so profane;
But being awak'dI do despise my dream.
Make less thy body henceand more thy grace;
Leave gormandizing; know the grave doth gape
For thee thrice wider than for other men-
Reply not to me with a fool-born jest;
Presume not that I am the thing I was
For God doth knowso shall the world perceive
That I have turn'd away my former self;
So will I those that kept me company.
When thou dost hear I am as I have been
Approach meand thou shalt be as thou wast
The tutor and the feeder of my riots.
Till then I banish theeon pain of death
As I have done the rest of my misleaders
Not to come near our person by ten mile.
For competence of life I will allow you
That lack of means enforce you not to evils;
Andas we hear you do reform yourselves
We willaccording to your strengths and qualities
Give you advancement. Be it your chargemy lord
To see perform'd the tenour of our word.
Set on. Exeunt the KING and his train
FALSTAFF. Master ShallowI owe you a thousand pounds.
SHALLOW. YeamarrySir John; which I beseech you to let me
have
home with me.
FALSTAFF. That can hardly beMaster Shallow. Do not you grieve
at
this; I shall be sent for in private to him. Look youhe
must
seem thus to the world. Fear not your advancements; I will be
the
man yet that shall make you great.
SHALLOW. I cannot perceive howunless you give me your
doublet
and stuff me out with straw. I beseech yougood Sir John
let me
have five hundred of my thousand.
FALSTAFF. SirI will be as good as my word. This that you
heard
was but a colour.
SHALLOW. A colour that I fear you will die inSir John.
FALSTAFF. Fear no colours; go with me to dinner. Come
Lieutenant
Pistol; comeBardolph. I shall be sent for soon at night.
Re-enter PRINCE JOHNthe LORD CHIEF JUSTICE
with officers
CHIEF JUSTICE. Gocarry Sir John Falstaff to the Fleet;
Take all his company along with him.
FALSTAFF. My lordmy lord--
CHIEF JUSTICE. I cannot now speak. I will hear you soon.
Take them away.
PISTOL. Si fortuna me tormentaspero me contenta.
Exeunt all but PRINCE JOHN and the LORD CHIEF JUSTICE
PRINCE JOHN. I like this fair proceeding of the King's.
He hath intent his wonted followers
Shall all be very well provided for;
But all are banish'd till their conversations
Appear more wise and modest to the world.
CHIEF JUSTICE. And so they are.
PRINCE JOHN. The King hath call'd his parliamentmy lord.
CHIEF JUSTICE. He hath.
PRINCE JOHN. I will lay odds thatere this year expire
We bear our civil swords and native fire
As far as France. I heard a bird so sing
Whose musicto my thinkingpleas'd the King.
Comewill you hence? Exeunt
EPILOGUE
EPILOGUE.
First my fearthen my curtsylast my speech. My fearis your
displeasure; my curtsymy duty; and my speechto beg your
pardons.
If you look for a good speech nowyou undo me; for what I have
to say
is of mine own making; and whatindeedI should say willI
doubt
prove mine own marring. But to the purposeand so to the
venture.
Be it known to youas it is very wellI was lately here in the
end
of a displeasing playto pray your patience for it and to
promise you
a better. I meantindeedto pay you with this; which if like an
ill venture it come unluckily homeI breakand youmy gentle
creditorslose. Here I promis'd you I would beand here I
commit
my body to your mercies. Bate me someand I will pay you some
and
as most debtors dopromise you infinitely; and so I kneel down
before
you--butindeedto pray for the Queen.
If my tongue cannot entreat you to acquit mewill you command
me to
use my legs? And yet that were but light payment--to dance out of
your debt. But a good conscience will make any possible
satisfactionand so would I. All the gentlewomen here have
forgiven
me. If the gentlemen will notthen the gentlemen do not agree
with
the gentlewomenwhich was never seen before in such an assembly.
One word moreI beseech you. If you be not too much cloy'd
with fat
meatour humble author will continue the storywith Sir John in
itand make you merry with fair Katherine of France; wherefor
anything I knowFalstaff shall die of a sweatunless already 'a
be
killed with your hard opinions; for Oldcastle died a martyr and
this
is not the man. My tongue is weary; when my legs are tooI will
bid
you good night.
THE END